I could not say what was in my heart. The last rays of the moon touched the profile of her face so glowingly that suddenly I wanted to pray.
"Oh, Suzanne, I wish that we believed in a God—we two. So I could pray his blessing on you—on us."
Then I kissed her on the lips and went away.
The hours I spent in my window that night were I suppose the nearest I ever got to Heaven. It seemed that at last my torturing doubts were over, that I had read in the Divine Revelation, that the way, the truth and the light had been made plain to me. For the second time in my life I had the assurance of salvation.
Just as the rim of the sun came up over the eastern hills, I heard her get out of bed, heard the sound of her bare feet coming towards the door. I jumped down from my seat in the window. My dream was fulfilled—she was coming to me in the dawn.
The door opened barely an inch. Her voice seemed like that of a stranger.
"Arnold. Please go down in the kitchen and get my clothes."
I was ready to open my veins for her and she asked me to walk downstairs and bring her a skirt and blouse and shoes.
"Don't stand there like an idiot," the strange voice said. "I want my clothes."
Well—somehow I found the clothes and brought them back. She took them in hastily through the door, closed it in my face—locked it. I think the grating of the bolt in the lock was the thing I first realized clearly. She was afraid I would force myself on her. We were utter strangers, she did not know me at all.