Taking a passing car I rode to Macy's, where I purchased a large and a small trunk of compressed bamboo, covered with cloth of imitation leather, the lightest and strongest trunk that human ingenuity has yet invented. The larger one had several trays and a hat box, and was pronounced by the salesman the very latest thing. The bag gave me more trouble, but I settled at last on a tasty affair, with special arrangements for toilet articles, which was to be its main object of use, and heard to my delight that all of the things would be delivered without fail that very evening.
On returning to my room I picked up the letters received from the Herald office and read them over again, laughing occasionally at something particularly amusing. What a lot of silly women there must be in New York, when a modest "Personal" like mine had set so many of them spoiling good stationery with such nonsense. The only two worth giving any thought to were those from Marjorie and Miss Brazier. A whimsical notion struck me to write to "Alice" and tell her how near she had been to winning the "prize" in my case. In the course of fifteen minutes I had produced the following letter:
My Dear Miss Brazier:—As there were but two answers to my Herald advertisement (out of nearly as many hundred) worth noticing, and as yours was one of them, I may be pardoned for telling you that your Hated Rival has been secured by me for my Tropical Trip. Had you given me the least chance to discover your excellencies, it might quite as likely have been your fate to accompany me, so you will see how very narrow was your escape. Having recently recovered from a long illness (whence the necessity of a Southern voyage) I had no desire to meet your angry relatives, and I have yet to learn how to gauge a young lady's personality by mail. So you put yourself out of the running to begin with.
I am sure, however, it will please you to know that Another has satisfied herself with my proposals and is now engaged in preparations to accompany me to a warmer clime. She is not only "all my fancy painted her," but more. As near as I can tell in the absence of actual measurements, she is about S feet 4 inches in height, well made, full chested, with a face to dream about, bluish gray eyes and hair of a rather light shade. But this description fails utterly to convey an adequate idea of her exquisite charm.
I am to pay her—imagine making a pecuniary arrangement with an houri!—twenty dollars a week and expenses, only; except that the wardrobe which she finds it necessary to purchase for a climate averaging 78 deg. at this season, is also to be charged to me.
Was ever so much given for so little? I shall certainly insist on her accepting a nice little purse of "conscience money" on her return, if we decide, on mature reflection, to terminate our contract at that time.
Now, be magnanimous and write me a note of congratulation; I am sure you have a kind heart and will be glad all my correspondents did not threaten me with gouty and quick tempered uncles in case I wished to call on a purely business errand.
Very Truly,
David Camwell, Lambs Club.
New York, Dec. 30, 1897.