Then she burst into tears and left me. I wanted to follow her into her room, but I felt that I was not in a condition to control myself, and I returned home to my quarters.
I was sitting down, absorbed in profound thoughtfulness, when Savelitch interrupted my meditations.
“Here, sir,” said he, handing me a written sheet of paper: “see whether I am a spy upon my master, and whether I try to cause trouble between father and son.”
I took the paper out of his hand. It was the reply of Savelitch to the letter which he had received. Here it is, word for word:
“LORD ANDREI PETROVITCH, our gracious father,
“I have received your gracious letter, in which you are pleased to be angry with me, your slave, telling me that I ought to be ashamed of myself for not fulfilling my master’s orders. I am not an old hound, but your faithful servant, and I do obey my master’s orders, and I have always served you zealously till my grey hairs. I did not write anything to you about Peter Andreitch’s wound, in order that I might not alarm you without a reason, and now I hear that our lady, our mother, Avdotia Vassilevna, is ill from fright, and I am going to pray to God to restore her to health. Peter Andreitch was wounded under the right shoulder, in the breast, exactly under a rib, to the depth of nearly three inches, and he was put to bed in the Commandant’s house, whither we carried him from the bank of the river, and he was healed by Stepan Paramonoff, the barber of this place, and now, thank God, Peter Andreitch is well, and I have nothing but good to write about him. His superior officers, I hear, are satisfied with him; and Vassilissa Egorovna treats him as if he were her own son. And because such an accident occurred to him, the young man ought not to be reproached: the horse has four legs, and yet he stumbles. And if it please you to write that I should go and feed the pigs, let your lordly will be done. Herewith I humbly bow down before you.
“Your faithful slave,
“ARKHIP SAVELITCH.”
I could not help smiling several times while reading the good old man’s letter. I was not in a condition to reply to my father, and Savelitch’s letter seemed to me quite sufficient to calm my mother’s fears.
From this time my situation changed. Maria Ivanovna scarcely ever spoke to me, nay, she even tried to avoid me. The Commandant’s house began to become insupportable to me. Little by little I accustomed myself to remaining at home alone. Vassilissa Egorovna reproached me for it at first, but perceiving my obstinacy, she left me in peace. Ivan Kouzmitch I only saw when the service demanded it; with Shvabrin I rarely came into contact, and then against my will, all the more so because I observed in him a secret enmity towards me, which confirmed me in my suspicions. My life became unbearable to me. I sank into a profound melancholy, which was enhanced by loneliness and inaction. My love grew more intense in my solitude, and became more and more tormenting to me. I lost all pleasure in reading and literature. I grew dejected. I was afraid that I should either go out of my mind or that I should give way to dissipation. But an unexpected event, which exercised an important influence upon my after life, suddenly occurred to give to my soul a powerful and salutary shock.
[1] For administrative purposes Russia is divided into seventy-two governments, exclusive of Finland, which enjoys a separate administration.