“I doubt if such an instance of ‘cheek’ has ever been equaled by any ‘green’ American in England. The English are never backward in showing up the forwardness of Americans, but they can go us two to one to their discredit.
“One time, going from Liverpool to New York, there was an Englishman and his wife on board, both great burly, ruddy beef-eaters. They acted as if they thought the steamer was for their special accommodation. On reaching port, each passenger was presented with a printed form on which to declare all dutiable articles, according to law. He refused to do anything, declaring that he would not submit to such a bloody custom. In consequence, their luggage was sent to the Custom House, and while all the other passengers were off and away, this haughty Briton had to open every package and display every article for inspection, and besides had to strip himself of most of his clothes for a personal examination, and the female Britisher had to go through the same operation, in another apartment, before the Customs woman. Probably neither of them were much pleased with their American reception.
“It is strange that there is such a difference between people, living under the same government, and so near to each other, but the Scotch, the Irish and the Welsh are another kind of people altogether. They are unselfish, courteous and agreeable. Have you noticed that Scotchman who is so ready to offer his chair to any one? Catch an Englishman doing that! You saw just now that seasick lady on deck for the first time, and was seated in a chair, when one of these English gentlemen came up to her with, ‘Madame, if you please, this is my chair,’ and waited till he got it, while an Irishman close by gave her his.
“Here is a paragraph I cut from an English paper: ‘It is curious to watch on board a steamer how the men of different nationalities behave to a lady, no longer young, who is traveling alone. The Frenchman is absolutely rude, if he gets the chance; the German simply takes no notice; the Australian is frigidly polite; the Englishman takes the trouble to be kind if his aid is solicited; the American is kind from habit and without effort; the British colonist is attentive because women of any kind are scarce in his country.’
“As an old traveler, I am greatly interested in noticing these peculiarities in different races. The English are a queer lot, not really bad at heart, I think, but it is in their domineering, arrogant natures to act as they do, and which has made them such a powerful nation. They are dull and slow, and almost lacking in the courtesies of civilized life. I seldom meet an Englishman, but he gets in some remarks against Americans, and I scarcely take up an English paper, but I find some slur, or carping criticism on the ‘Yankees,’ as they call us. Yet, they have the cheek to say to me, ‘If, in the event of a great European war, you Americans would certainly side with us, as we are of the same race, speak the same language, and our interests are the same.’ They do not seem to be trying very much to make us their friends. It may be only their way, however. A hundred thousand or more Americans go abroad every year, and all spend some time, as well as money, in Great Britain. Except a few favored ones, all tell the same story about the arrogance and sneers of the English. These travelers return and tell their acquaintances their experience, and it is not surprising if our people have a dislike to our ‘English cousins,’ a phrase they use when they wish to give us taffy.
“But we Americans should not complain, for it is to this same aristocratic bull-dog spirit that we owe our independence. Otherwise, America would still be an English colony. The Puritans were persecuted, and were glad to go anywhere, not for freedom only, but to save their necks. Under George the First, large numbers received ‘royal mercy,’ by being transported to America. Many, driven from their homes in England, found a refuge in Holland, and then in America. King George the Third hated the colonists, and was their bitterest enemy, mainly because they escaped from his tyranny. He proposed to tax them for the benefit of England. The first predominant idea of an Englishman is taxation. This seems to be as necessary to him as the air he breathes. With a swarm of non-producing royal drones, the emoluments of the aristocracy and the interminable lot of highly paid office-holders, and the hangers-on of the government, and their sitting commissions, this taxation may be necessary. If they enjoy it, then it is just what they ought to have.
“Our forefathers hated taxation as a kind of tyranny, and were bitterly opposed to the stamp act. We keep down our taxes, except on luxuries, and have not a stamp, but for postage, and this stamp is more for convenience than otherwise.
“Everybody knows the sarcastic description of English taxation by Sydney Smith, but I lately met with something on stamps, by an English writer, that I copied in my note-book, and here it is: ‘The Englishman was a stamped animal; he was tattooed all over. There was not a single spot of his body corporate, that was not stamped several times. He could not move without knocking his head against a stamp, and before he could arrive at any station of responsibility, he must have paid more money for stamps than would have set him up for life. The stamp penetrates everywhere, it seizes upon all things, and fixes its claws wherever there is a tangible substance. Sometimes, indeed, it flies to the intangible, and quarters itself upon the air, the imagination of man, his avocations, his insanity, his hopes and prospects, his pleasures and his pains, and does not scruple to fasten upon his affections. Even love is stamped. A man cannot fall in love and marry a lady without an acknowledgement of the omnipotence of the stamp. An Englishman is born to be stamped, he lives in a state of stamp, and is stamped while he is dying, and after he is dead.’
“No wonder the English are cross-grained with all this embarrassment of stamps, and ever in fear of being caught delinquent by some excise officer.
“To show you the difference of taxation in the two countries, I will read you a note I have on that subject. In the United States the government receives five per cent on the products of the country; capital, in the shape of interest, rent and dividends, twenty-five per cent; and labor the balance, or seventy per cent. In Great Britain the government receives twenty-three per cent; capital thirty-six; and labor forty-one per cent. Another item I have noted from an India paper, ‘England spends twenty-three pence, America one hundred pence, and India seven-tenths of a penny per head of population for primary education.’ The paper says that India spends seven pice a head. A pice is such a curiosity to me that I have one in my pocket, and a pound weight of them in my trunk, taking them home as presents to my friends. Yet, I am told, there is still a smaller currency, a cowrie, a glaring proof of the poverty of the people. No wonder that Dr. Marshman wrote that ‘The Bengalis reckoned in cowries.’