That Eurasian

by Aleph Bey

“I am inclined to think that we ought to go back to the Christ that was, begin a new church with a new set of preachers, who would talk less about rites and ceremonies, less about the souls of men, and care something about their bodies, and dare to denounce the sins and lusts of the flesh, and have manhood and courage enough to take for a text, ‘Whosoever looketh upon a woman to lust after her!’ Wouldn’t there be a squirming among the sinners such as your distinguished father, if they dared to preach as Jesus would? Let us have some dinner.”

We had a good dinner, and a very pleasant chat among the family present, until the time for my train. On bidding good-bye, I said, “I can trust you.” He answered, “You need have no fear of me.” And I never had.

I wanted a change, to go into a retreat after all the excitement and anxiety of the past few months, to get rid of the ennui and disgust of life that was unsettling me, and the best remedy I have found in such cases, is to go and benefit somebody, and give real enjoyment to others.

I at once thought of my villagers. Have not great men sought rest by retiring to their country homes, why not I? For several years I had only ridden out a day at a time to attend some school festival or fair, but now I concluded to make a real visit. I had my tent, servants, bag and baggage sent out to make a real stay in my Reviera or Tusculum. I sought the shade of a big peepul, a ficus and a religiosa to me, and I was soon pleasantly situated. The condition of the villages was excellent. The drains I had formerly made carried away all the refuse to the opposite side of the village from the tank. The people were extremely healthy. Few deaths had occurred, and these were from natural causes. I had given them a number of talks about the value of manure and refuse, that this was food for the soil, that the land was hungry, starving, and needed to be fed. This they could understand, for they had been hungry themselves. I said nothing about nitrates or phosphates, or the chemical ingredients of different kinds of soil, or that the ash of wheat contains phosphates, potashes and magnesia. Too much learning hath turned many a wise man’s brain, and I wanted no insanity or confusion among my people. I told them that every seer of refuse was land food, and every seer would bring in a number of extra grains of seed, larger and better vegetables, a larger rate of interest than they had paid to the bunyas. I had frequently pointed out the stuff lying about and making the villages untidy and going to waste, while the soil was begging for it. I found that they had acted on my suggestion, and swept the streets and yards, and every straw and leaf were stored in the pits. The result was a clean village, healthy people, and thriving fields. In planting the trees years ago, I was careful to have them of good timber, or of excellent fruit. They beautified the villages, gave plenty of shade, while the lopped branches supplied fuel, the fruit was a harvest in itself of food, and gave the people a pleasure in life all conducing to health and happiness. I am a utilitarian, but include that which gives beauty and pleasure with the useful.

Some years previous I had supplied a few imported cattle. These now formed quite a stock, of which the people were very proud and I rejoiced in their pride. I had given some talks on cattle and their treatment; that they could not expect a poor starved bullock to do good work, any more than a weak starved man. I drew a picture on the school blackboard of a fat-bellied man, thrashing and punching a pair of skeleton cattle, and gave my opinion of such a man, fattening himself while starving the poor brutes depending on him.

I had offered prizes to be distributed by a committee at our semi-annual fairs to those having the best cattle, and also a big leather medal to be given to the one having the poorest cattle, this to be nailed to the door of his house until the next fair. I wanted a little fun, and they all appreciated this leathery idea. I hardly need say that after a few years the committee decided that there were not any cattle in the villages to entitle the owner to the leather medal. It was a standing remark for them to make when any one’s cattle were becoming a little lean, “O he is going in for the leather medal.” I am egotist enough to believe that my talks about cattle were far superior to any given by the wordy lecturers of the anti-cow-killing society. It is the grimmest kind of a farce for the Hindus to talk of the sacredness of cattle and then to cruelly starve and treat the poor brutes as they do.

I had stocked the tank with the fry of the best fish and some had grown to a large size, and plenty of them. There had been a fish committee appointed and a law passed, that no one should fish except with a hook and line, and that no fish under six inches in length should be kept out, but be thrown back into the water. I had plenty of sport, if it can be called sport to take life of any kind, and a fish for my breakfasts, giving the rest to the widows. I always showed great respect to the women, putting them ever first.

One morning I received the finest compliment of my life. I was coming from the tank and my boy,—I never was in want of boys when fishing, who is?—had a fine string of large fish, when the widows approached to get their share. As the fish were distributed, one old wrinkled body getting her share exclaimed: “The Sahib is a friend to the poor widows.” I trust the recording angel made a note of that, for I like to get all the good marks I deserve, as I am afraid I shall have so many bad ones to be erased, for I have read somewhere, that every time the scribe above puts down a good mark for any one he rubs out a bad one. The fish committee made their report that there had been no violation of the law except once, when a man was caught going away from the tank with a number of small fish. The committee at once surrounded him, and decided that he must eat the fish raw, then and there, and they waited until he had devoured heads, tails, bones and all. I doubt if the justices of any high or low court ever gave a decision with more justice, or administered a punishment with more alacrity than did my fish committee.

Once going to the tank with my rod, I met this man and said, probably with a slight hint in my voice that I had heard from the committee: “Well Gulab, are you fond of fish?” He hesitated, with a slight grin on his face, for he was somewhat of a wag, “Yes, Sahib, when they are cooked.” I replied, “That is the way I like mine, not raw, but well cooked,” and we parted, each with a meaning smile.

I was so well pleased with my fish investment, bringing in a constant crop of food without labor, worth the product of a number of acres, that I sent for some fishermen with nets to go to the river to bring me a lot of small fish at so much a seer, and they brought me not seers, but maunds, and I waited to see what a harvest my planting would produce, as I told the villagers that the tank was my field. Some of them, I afterwards learned, called the tank, “The Sahib’s Khet.”