”Joseph Thompson may here be found
Who would not lie in consecrated ground
Died May 13th 1745
Aged 63 when he was alive”
With the traditional account of the circumstances that caused this fancy of Joseph Thompson’s, the details given in the rhyme coincide as closely as my recollection of a tale heard in boyhood enables me to make them.
Since the first appearance of this, however, another version of the matter has been reported to me by old friends near the spot—but inasmuch as it does not account so perfectly as the old story for Joseph’s objection to ALL consecrated ground, I feel bound to abide by my first choice. The, to me, new story tells that Joseph Thompson annoyed the clerk in the church so seriously by repeating the responses in a voice that quite drowned his, that at length the said functionary exclaimed during service—“Is thoo t’ clark, or is I t’ clark? If thoo’s t’ clark, cūm up hèar, an’ I’ll cūm doon thèar!“—and, on Joseph’s paying no attention to his appeal, supplemented it by assaulting him. The clergyman taking his clerk’s side in the quarrel, Joseph Thompson declared he would never come near the church again, dead or alive, and kept his word.
I take leave to think that my version is the better, whichever may be the truer tale. I have further been told that the stone formerly stood in the centre of the field—and on the land coming into the possession of Mr. John Christian Curwen, the farmer waited upon that distinguished agriculturist to obtain permission to remove it to the hedge-side, and to plough the field. When he was told the history of the monument, and its inscription was recited to him, Mr. Curwen exclaimed, more suo, ”Would not lie in consecrated ground! Then, plough him up! D—— him, plough him up!”