The story of Abou Ben Adhem ("may his tribe increase") tells us how we may know who loves the Lord. The angel wrote the names of those who loved the Lord most faithfully and fully, and coming to Abou Ben Adhem asked if he should write his name, and received the reply that he could not say whether he deeply loved the Lord, but he was quite certain that the angel could "write me as one who loves his fellow-men." And, lo! when the list was made and the names of all who loved the Lord recorded, Abou Ben Adhem's name headed the list.
The Vedanta philosophy teaches non-attachment and Vivekananda himself says: "To love any one personally is bondage. Love all alike then all desires fall off."
To love only the personal self of any one binds us to the sorrow of loss and of separation and disappointment; but to love any one spiritually is to establish a bond which can never be broken; which insures reunion, and defies time and space.
We can not love all alike, though we can love all humanity impersonally. All desires that have their root in the sense-conscious plane of expression, will fall off when the heart is anchored in spiritual love; but let it be understood that spiritual love is not opposed to human love; we do not grow into spiritual love by denying the human, but by plussing the human.
Spiritual consciousness is all that is good and pure and noble, and satisfying in the mortal and infinitely more. It is the love of personal self plus the Self—the atman.
Love is never unrequited. It is never wasted; never foolish. Love is its own self-justification; if it be real love, and not vanity, or self admiration, misnamed, give it freely, and don't ask for a return; don't ask whither it leads; only ask if it is real—if the love you feel is for the object of your love, or if it is for yourself—for you to possess and to minister to your pleasure; ask whether it is from the senses or from the heart.
The way of the Bhakti yoga, is the way of love and service, because service to our fellow beings, is the inevitable complement of love. Where we truly love, we gladly serve. It has been said: "The chela treads a hair-line." That is to say, the initiate must be prepared to meet defeat at every turn. Not defeat of his object of attainment, but the personal defeat that so many seek in the delusion that the world's ideal of success is the real success.
In conclusion we can only repeat what has been told and retold many times by all inspired ones, of whatever creed and race; namely, think and act always from the inner Self, cheerfully taking the consequences of your choice. Let not the opinions of the illusory world of the senses balk and thwart you. Let not the "worldly-wise" swerve you from your ideal and your faith in the final goal of your earthly pilgrimage—the attainment of spiritual consciousness in your present personality; this is the meaning of immortality in the flesh Doubt not this.
Make love your ideal; your guide; your final goal; look for the inner Self of all whom you meet. "Learn to look into the hearts of men," says the injunction in Light on the Path; dismiss from your mind all the accumulation of traditional concepts and prejudices that are not grounded in love, and above all falter not, nor doubt—no matter what seeming hardships you encounter in your earthly pilgrimage; they are but the Indian-clubs of your soul's gymnasium—Experience. "Meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat these two impostors just the same."
Triumph and Disaster as seen with the eyes of sense-consciousness are both illusions; but don't for this reason cease your work. The phrase "you must work out your own salvation" is true. So also, you must be willing to do your part in working out the salvation of the world; salvation means simply the realization of the spiritual Being that you are—the attainment of that state of Illumination which guarantees immortality.