"Caught religion?"
"Not quite. The truth is that I have at last realised that you never get anything worth having if you've got to beg for it."
"It's about the softest job I know, whether you have to beg for it or not. The only job that beats it for softness is the kirk," he said.
"I wouldn't exactly call it a soft job, Lawson; a rotten job, yes, but a soft job, no. Inspecting schools is half spying and half policing. It isn't supposed to be you know, but it is. You know as well as I do that every teacher starts guiltily whenever the inspector shoves his nose into the room. Nosing, that's what it is."
"You would make a fairly decent inspector," said Lawson.
"Thanks," I said, "the insinuation being that I could nose well, eh?"
"I didn't mean that. Suppose you had to examine my school how would you do it?"
"I would come in and sit down on a bench and say: 'Just imagine I am a new boy, and give me an idea of the ways of the school. I warn you that my attention may wander. Fire away! But, I say, I hope you don't mind my finishing this pie; I had a rotten breakfast this morning.'"
"Go on," said Lawson laughing.
"I wouldn't examine the kids at all. When you let them out for minutes I would have a crack with you. I would say something like this: 'I've got a dirty job, but I must earn my screw in some way. I want to have a wee lecture all to myself. In the first place I don't like your discipline. It's inhuman to make kids attend the way you do. The natural desire of each boy in this room was to watch me put myself outside that pie, and not one looked at me.