Early the next morning all the people in authority were astir. Generals, colonels, officers, and men in light marching order, might be seen quickly crossing and recrossing the plateau in every direction. I had, with my brigade of cooks, been busy since daybreak, and a white stream of communication had established itself between the general’s palazzo, built of fine white stone,[26] and the villarette of your humble servant, so conspicuously erected in almost the centre of the plateau. This was no other than my cooks in their white culinary attire, running like mad to and fro, fetching and carrying the portions of the collation which I had prepared in my kitchen. At ten, to the minute, the party were to sit down; at five minutes to ten the collation was on the table, and in military order. The bill of fare was as follows:—
| DÉJEÛNER POUR VINGT-QUATRE PERSONNES, | |
| Offert au Général Vassileffsky par le Général Garrett. | |
| Filets de turbot clouté à la Dame Blanche. | |
| Cotelettes de mouton à la vivandière. | |
| —— | |
| Relevées chaudes. | |
| Les hanchettes de mouton à la Brétonne. | |
| —— | |
| Pièces froides. | |
| Le dindonneau farci à l’anglaise. | Les poulets demi-rôtis. |
| Le gros jambon de Westmoreland glacé. | Le gannet garni d’ortolans à la Victoria. |
| —— | |
| La Macédoine Lüdersienne à l’Alexandre II. | |
| —— | |
| Petits hors-d’œuvres. | |
| Les escaloppes de mortadelle de Verone. | Le thon italien mariné. |
| Les olives de Provence farcies. | Les lamproies et sardines marinées. |
| Les anchois. | |
| Les cornichons à l’estragon. | Indian pickles. |
| —— | |
| Entremets de douceur. | |
| Gelées d’oranges. | Idem au marasquin. |
| Plum-pudding à la Exeter. | Un turban Savarin au Madère. |
| —— | |
| The Crimean cup à la Marmora. | |
| —— | |
| Dessert assorti. | |
| Salades d’oranges. | Compotes de poires. |
| Figues, raisins, amandes, &c. | |
| —— | |
My engineer, Tom Shell-proof, as we afterwards called him, undertook to gallop round to the various regimental kitchens, and see that all was in order.[27] This brought to my recollection the applicable and pithy remark made by my friend Mr. Charles Pierce, who, in the preface of his valuable work entitled The Household Manager,[28] says that “The warrior general who looks forward to the successful termination of his coming engagement, first, with careful study and practised thought, views in prescience each possible exigency, and provides a means to meet it, strategically considering the country in which his scene of action is laid, and the appliances in all respects necessary to his victory.” The school from which the author of the above-quoted work emanates is Chirk Castle, where, upwards of twenty years ago, I first made his acquaintance. His then young master, Colonel Myddleton Biddulph, is the present Master of the Household to her Majesty. Mr. Pierce was himself afterwards attached to the household of the reigning Duke of Lucca, and was fellow-servant and a most intimate friend of Baron Ward, who ultimately became not only Master of the Household, but Prime Minister, to the Duke of Parma. Mr. Pierce himself, as is well known, is maître d’hôtel to the Russian Embassy.
At ten to the minute, the Russians arrived. After the introduction, the guests sat down, and every jaw was soon doing its best; for in less than twenty minutes there were only the names of the various dishes to be seen, and they were upon the bill of fare—which was not eaten. The Russian general, who has only one arm, ate as much as two men with the use of both. A servant waited upon him, and carved his meat. Better looking men I have seen, but not more military. He seemed as hard and as round as a cannon-ball. Between three and five was the general’s hour of rising in time of peace. When he told me this, I said, “Then I suppose in war-time you don’t lie down at all, general?”
“Very little indeed,” was the reply.
“That I can conceive. But in time of peace you must admit four or five to be rather an early hour to call upon a friend, as you proposed doing to General Garrett.”
The general was a man of very agreeable manners—spoke French rather fluently—had a very quick eye—was no sooner seated than he took a survey of the company. The lunch was much relished—the speeches were short and to the point, and all went on to everybody’s satisfaction. The Russian general was particularly pleased, and highly complimented his host upon the dainty repast, which he could not conceive was to be had in the Crimea. His aide-de-camp informed me that he was a bit of an epicure, and always kept a good table when at home. Both the aides-de-camp were much taken with the engravings from the Illustrated News pasted round the walls of the general’s dining-room. They could not make out how it was that General Pelissier wore a Russian uniform, and Prince Menschikoff the French military order—that General Canrobert was dressed like the Emperor Alexander II., while his Majesty was dressed in the French general’s costume. Count Orloff wore the French imperial uniform; and above all, their general-in-chief, Prince Gortschikoff, appeared attired as a Highlander, while the Grand Duke Constantine was rigged out as a Zouave. They remained some time after the general had left the table, puzzling over these strange contradictions.
“This,” said I, “was done during the cut-throat time; but now we are at peace, and in future every one will carry his own head upon his shoulders, and each military man wear his own uniform and orders. War,” I continued, “is a mischievous evil, which turns everything topsy-turvy, while peace will restore every head to its proper owner.”
This explanation appeared to puzzle them more than the thing itself; so I showed them that the heads had been cut off with scissors and placed upon other bodies. This amused them so much, that the general had to wait some time for them. They were entirely engrossed by those illustrated pasquinades, which appeared to be quite a novelty to them.