After marriage an exchange of presents and food was made between the relatives of the two parties concerned, but the bridegroom’s relations gave a great deal more than those of the bride. The bridegroom stood on a mat, and all the presents from his side of the house were heaped upon it. The bride took these presents and handed them over to her people. The bridegroom gave his father-in-law a present of perhaps a canoe, or a dugong harpoon, or something of equal value. This was the final transaction, but should the marriage result in the usual adjuncts to family life, a payment had to be paid to the wife’s parents on the birth of each child.
Without going into details of custom of every island, it may not be amiss if I transcribe the account given me by my friend Maino of Warrior Island. Here again the ring of string was a preliminary feature, and the sister, in giving it to her brother, said, “Brother, I’ve got some good news for you; a woman likes you.” He asked who it was, and after some conversation—if he was willing to go on with the affair—he told his sister to ask the girl to go into the bush and he would follow.
When the message was delivered, the enamoured damsel informed her parents that she was going into the bush to get some food, or wood, or make some similar excuse. In due course the man met the girl, and they sat down and talked discreetly over their affairs. Any forward conduct on the part of the young man would have been regarded as bad form.
Breaking the embarrassing silence, the youth considerately asked, “You like me proper?”
“Yes,” she replied, “I like you proper, with my heart inside. Eye along my heart see you. You my man.”
Unwilling to give himself away rashly, he further inquired, “How you like me?”
“I like your fine leg; you got fine body, your skin good, I like you altogether,” replied the girl.
Anxious to clinch the matter, the girl asked when they were to be married. “To-morrow, if you like,” said the man, and they both went home and informed their respective relatives that they had arrived at an understanding. Then the girl’s friends fought the man’s people, “for girl more big,” i.e. of more consequence, than boy; but the fighting did not appear to have been a serious business.
It was certainly the custom for a young man, or rather for his elders, to give a girl to the “brother” of the bride; the girl being either his own sister or a relative, who, according to their scheme of kinship, bears a similar relationship. The “brother” may similarly not be an own brother. This “swapping” of “sisters” was the usual method of getting a wife. If a young man had no “sister” he might for ever remain unmarried unless he was rich enough to purchase a wife.
After marriage the husband usually left his own people and went to live with those of his wife, even if they belonged to a different island. There is, for example, considerable intermarriage between the inhabitants of the islands of Badu and Mabuiag; in such a case the man divides his time between the two islands. It should be remembered that both the husband and the wife own land in their respective islands, and both properties require to be cultivated and looked after. Still this is not a complete explanation of the custom. From this and other facts it would appear that these western islanders are emerging from what is usually called a “matriarchal” to a “patriarchal” system.