As I have told you, I will do all in my power to conquer the beating of my sick heart, to bear this horrible and long martyrdom, so that I may live to see with you the happy light of the day of rehabilitation.
I will bear without a groan the natural scorn rightly inspired by the sight of the creature I represent. I will suppress the convulsions of my being against a lot so terrible, so appalling.
Oh, this scorn that shrouds my name, how it tortures me! My pen cannot express such suffering.
I ask myself how a man who has really forfeited his honor can continue to live. But I live only because my conscience is clear, because I hope that soon all is to be discovered; that the true criminal will be punished for his odious crime, that they will at last give me back my honor.
When I am gone write me long letters. I am thinking of the moment when you all can write to me and when I shall receive news from all the members of our families.
The first time you are sending me anything, will you please send me the Ollendorf method which I have had a chance to try here, and which I think preferable to that of your teacher? Send with it the corrected exercises, which form a separate volume, and which will also be my teacher.
Embrace our darlings tenderly for me, your parents, all whom you see, and receive the affectionate kisses of your devoted
Alfred.
1895—1896—1897—1898.