From North Pole to Equator: Studies of Wild Life and Scenes in Many Lands

by Alfred Edmund Brehm

Under the supervision of the old woman, who is called “dyenke”, the bridegroom visits the bride many times, without, however, presenting himself before her parents until what remains of the kalüm is paid. Then he sends a messenger to the bride’s father to ask if he may take his bride to his own yurt. Permission is given, and the bridegroom sets out for the aul, once more with a large following and many gifts, pitches his tent at a suitable distance, receives visits from the women as before, spends the night alone in the tent, and, next morning, sends from it to the aul all the necessary woodwork for the erection of a yurt, which he has to provide. Thereupon the women assemble and hastily finish the sewing together of the felt covering supplied by the bride, if it is not already done, and then they set to work to erect the new yurt. The favourite woman of the aul has the honour of lifting the roof-ring, and holding it in position until the spars are fitted into it; the others share the rest of the work of setting up and covering it. While this is going on the bridegroom makes his appearance; the bride, too, is brought upon the scene, and both are told to walk from their places to the yurt to decide the great question as to who shall be supreme within it. The mastery will fall to the lot of the one who reaches it first.

A sheep brought by the bridegroom has been slaughtered, and a meal prepared to be eaten within the new yurt. During the course of the meal, the young master wraps up a bone in a piece of white cloth, and throws it, without looking upwards, through the hole at the top of the yurt into the open air. If he succeeds in doing so, it is a sign that the smoke from this yurt will always rise straight to heaven, which betokens happiness and prosperity for the inhabitants.

After the preliminary repast in the new yurt, the guests repair to that of the bride’s father, where a second meal awaits them. The younger people remain in the new yurt, and for them the bride’s mother prepares food and drink; and she must provide it bountifully, lest the young people should break up the light structure over their heads, and, to punish her niggardliness, scatter its parts in all directions far away in the steppe. Not even the abundantly filled dish itself is safe from the boisterous spirits of these unruly wedding guests; one of them pulls it from the hostess, and rides away with it; others attempt to catch him and secure the spoil, and so the fun goes on till the dishes are in danger of becoming cold.

The following morning the bride’s father asks for the first time to see the bridegroom, invites him to his yurt, greets him warmly, praises his looks and talents, wishes him happiness in his married life, and gives him all sorts of presents as the bride’s dowry. This takes place in the presence of the whole company who had assembled in the yurt before the bridegroom’s entrance. Finally, the richly adorned bride enters it also. If there is a mollah in the aul, or if one can be procured, he pronounces a blessing over the young pain.

Then the farewell song, the “jar-jar”, is sung to the bride, and, with tearful eyes, she responds to every verse, every strophe, with the lament of departing brides.

When this is at an end, camels are brought up to be loaded with the yurt and the bridal presents, and gaily caparisoned horses to carry the bride and her mother to the bridegroom’s aul. The young man himself rides in advance of the procession, and, assisted by his companions, he urges the camels to their utmost speed, so as to have time to erect the yurt in his aul with the same ceremonies as had been previously observed. The bride, having taken tearful leave of her father, relatives, and companions, the yurt, and the herds and flocks, rides closely veiled by a curtain which completely envelopes her, and which is carried by her attendant riders, till she reaches the yurt in which she is henceforth to reign as mistress. Her father-in-law, who has meantime inspected the dowry, and praised or found fault with it, calls her soon after her arrival to his yurt, and she enters it with three such deep inclinations, that she is obliged to support herself by laying her hands on her knees; these are to signify that she will be as obedient to her father and mother-in-law as to her lord and master. During this greeting, her face remains veiled, as it does thenceforward before her father and brothers-in-law, and for a year before every stranger. Later, she veils herself in the presence of her husband’s eldest brother, but of no one else, for she must marry the brother if her husband dies, and she must not rouse or foster evil desires in his heart.

Fig. 73.—Frolics at a Kirghiz Wedding.

In the case of a second marriage, the Kirghiz woos for himself and without special formalities. If he marries a second wife during the life of his first, and lets her live in the same yurt, as usually happens where the man is not very well-to-do, her lot is a pitiable one. The first wife insists upon her rights, condemns the second to a certain part of the yurt, and only allows her lord himself to exercise his conjugal rights within strict limits. The wife is held in high esteem among the Kirghiz: “We value our wives as we do our ambling nags, both are priceless,” my Kirghiz friend Altibei said to me. The men seldom leave their wives, the women still more rarely run away from their husbands; but even in the steppe, love does sometimes break all the bonds of tradition and custom. Abductions also occur, and are not considered disgraceful. To carry off a maiden whose father’s claims are exorbitant is considered by many as praiseworthy rather than blameworthy on the part of both the abductor and abducted.

Among the Kirghiz, a new-born infant is washed in very salt water as soon as it opens its eyes on the world. The washing is repeated for forty days in succession, and then given up entirely. The suckling is laid at first in a cradle filled with warm, soft, down-like camel wool, so that it is completely covered, and does not suffer from cold in the severest winter; later, it is dressed in a little woollen shirt, which the mother holds over the fire about once in three days, to free it from the parasites abundant in every yurt, but she never changes it for another as long as it holds together. In winter, the careful mother adds a pair of stockings, and, as soon as the child can walk, it is dressed like a grown-up person.