CHAPTER XXIV.—WHEN THE CAPITOL WAS MOVED.
When the joobilant Texans set down to kyarve out the destinies of that empire they wrests from the feeble paws of the Mexicans an’ Santa Anna, they decides on Austin for the Capitol an’ Old Houston to be President. An’ I’ll say right yere, Old Houston, by all roomer an’ tradition, is mighty likely the most presidential president that ever keeps a republic guessin’ as to whatever is he goin’ to do next. Which he’s as full of surprises as a night in Red Dog.
About the first dash outen the box, Old Houston gets himse’f into trouble with two Lone Star leadin’ citizens whose names, respective, is Colonel Morton an’ jedge Webb.
Old Houston himse’f on the hocks of them vict’ries he partic’pates in, an’ bein’ selected president like I say, grows as full of vanity as a prairie dog. Shore! he’s a hero; the drawback is that his notion of demeanin’ himse’f as sech is to spread his tail feathers an’ strut. Old Houston gets that puffed up, an’ his dignity is that egreegious, he feels crowded if a gent tries to walk on the same street with him.
Colonel Morton an’ Jedge Webb themse’fs wades through that carnage from soda to hock freein’ Texas, an’ they sort o’ figgers that these yere services entitles them to be heard some. Old Houston, who’s born with a notion that he’s doo’ to make what public uproar every o’casion demands, don’t encourage them two patriots. He only listens now an’ then to Morton; an’ as for Jedge Webb, he jest won’t let that jurist talk at all.
“An’ for these yere followin’ reasons to wit,” explains Old Houston, when some Austin sports puts it to him p’lite, but steadfast, that he’s onjust to Webb. “I permits Morton to talk some, because it don’t make a splinter of difference what Morton says. He can talk on any side of any subject an’ no one’s ediot enough to pay the least attention to them remarks. But this sityooation is changed when you-all gets to Webb. He’s a disaster. Webb never opens his mouth without subtractin’ from the sum total of hooman knowledge.”
