And now—what’s in that package over there?
Bettine.
Oh, that’s the new tunes for the gramophone.
That’s father’s Christmas present to us all.
Nanko.
Now, what a wonderful man the doctor was!
Nobody else, in these parts, would have thought
Of buying a gramophone. Let’s open it.
Bettine.
Yes! Yes! And we’ll give father a surprise!
It shall be playing a tune when he comes in!
He won’t be angry, will he, mumsy dear?
(Brander opens the package. Nanko rubs his hands in delight. They get the gramophone ready.)
Nanko.
Oh, this will be a merry Christmas Eve.
There now—just see how this kind gentleman
Has opened the package for us. Now you see
The good of war. It benefits the health.
Sets a man up. Look at old Peter’s legs,
He’s a disgrace to the village, a disgrace!
Nobody shoots him either, so he spoils
Everything; for you know, you must admit,
Bettine, that war means natural selection—
Survival of the fittest, don’t you see?
For instance, I survive, and you survive:
Don’t we? So Peter shouldn’t spoil it all.
They say that all the tall young men in France
Were killed in the Napoleonic wars,
So that most Frenchmen at the present day
Are short and fat. Isn’t that funny, Bettine?