Mactaggart, in describing this, says it is one of the most celebrated amusements of the Ingle ring. To begin it, one in the ring speaks as follows:—
I hae been awa at the wadds and the wears
These seven lang years;
And come hame a puir broken ploughman,
What will ye gie me to help me to my trade?
He may either say he’s a “puir broken ploughman” or any other trade, but since he has chosen that trade some of the articles belonging to it must always be given or offered to recruit it. But the article he most wants he privately tells one of the party, who is not allowed to offer him anything, as he knows the thing, which will throw the offerer in a wadd, and must be avoided as much as possible, for to be in a wadd is a very serious matter. Now, the one on the left hand of the “poor ploughman” makes the first offer by way of answer to what above was said—“I’ll gie ye the coulter to help ye to your trade.” The ploughman answers, “I don’t thank ye for the coulter; I hae ane already.” Then another offers him another article belonging to the ploughman’s business, such as the moolbred, but this also is refused: another gives the sock, another the stilts, another the spattle, another the naigs, and so on until one gives the soam, which was the article he most wanted, and was the thing secretly told to the one player. This throws the giver into a wadd, out of which he is relieved in the following manner:—
The ploughman says to the one in the wadd, “Whether will ye hae three questions and two commands, or three commands and two questions to answer, or gang on wi’, sae that ye may win out o’ the wadd?” For the one so fixed has always the choice which of these to take. Suppose he takes the first, two commands and three questions, then a specimen of these may be—“I command ye to kiss the crook,” says the ploughman, which must be completely obeyed by the one in the wadd; his naked lips must kiss the sooty implement. Secondly, says the ploughman, I command ye to stand up in that neuk and say—
“Here stan’ I, as stiff’s a stake,
Wha ’ill kiss me for pity’s sake?”
which must also be done; in a corner of the house must he stand and repeat this couplet, until some tender-hearted lass relieves him. Then the questions are asked, such as—“Suppose you were in a bed with Maggie Lowden and Jennie Logan, your twa great sweethearts, what ane o’m wad ye ding owre the bedside, and what ane wad ye turn to and clap and cuddle?” He has to choose one, perhaps to the great mirth of the company. Secondly, “Suppose ye were stannin’ stark naked on the tap o’ Cairnhattie, whether wad ye cry on Peggie Kirtle or Nell o’ Killimingie to come wi’ your claise?” He has again to choose. Lastly, “Suppose ye were in a boat wi’ Tibbie Tait, Mary Kairnie, Sally Snadrap, and Kate o’ Minnieive, and it was to coup wi’ ye, what ane o’ ’em wad ye sink? what ane wad ye soom? wha wad ye bring to lan’? and wha wad ye marry?” Then he has again to choose between the girls named.
Chambers gives the following versions of the “Wadds”:—
The wadds was played by a group seated round the hearth fire, the lasses being on one side and the lads on the other. The questions are asked and answers given alternately. A lad first chants—
O it’s hame, and it’s hame, and it’s hame, hame, hame,
I think this night I maun gae hame.