And what was my belief?
The sun was at the horizon, and I went to Cadillac. "You hold council to-morrow?"
"Yes, to-morrow morning."
"I shall be here."
"But where are you going now?"
"To the woods."
Cadillac took me by the arm. "Montlivet, be sane!"
But I think that as he looked at me he saw that I was sane. "I shall be with you in the morning," I promised. And I would have no further words.
All that night in the woods, both waking and dreaming, the thought of the woman was like a presence near me. I slept some, dropping against trees, then roused and stumbled on. I do not know that I consciously searched for her, but I went on and on to meet her. It seemed that I should always do that while I lived,—should always push my way forward, feeling that beyond the next turn she stood beckoning.
The stars rose and set. There were multitudes of them and very bright. If man could only have his orbit fixed and follow it as they did; be compelled to follow it by a governing power! The terrible cruelty of a God who throws volition into a man's hands without giving him understanding to handle it came to me for the first time.