I remember hearing of a case where such an arrangement had a tragic end. A Yao girl, promised by her parents in the way above described to an elderly man, refused to marry him when the time came, as she preferred a young man named Tambala, a teacher in the Blantyre school. Whether the proper steps for dissolving the engagement had been taken or not, I do not know; in any case the old man refused to give up his claim; and, a day or two before the marriage was fixed to take place, Tambala was found dead in the gardens near his village—shot by the disappointed suitor. But the Anyanja, at any rate, seem to regard the question as quite an open one, which may be settled by arrangement. A native statement on the subject is as follows: ‘If the girl, when she is grown up, refuses, her father takes money (i.e. cloth or beads) and gives it to that man, because, he says, you have clothed my child.’ Nyanja girls, too, are very often not betrothed in this way. It should also be remembered that the marriages thus agreed on beforehand by parents are often between boys and girls of suitable ages, and turn out quite happily.
When a man takes a fancy to a girl whom he finds to be disengaged, he first of all comes to an understanding with her, then goes to her village and tells her family—all the relations, including the grandparents, the elder brother, and, above all, the maternal uncle, are consulted, as well as the parents—and, if they have no objection, he then goes to his own people. Having obtained their consent, ‘he returns to build the house, and when it is nearly completed he calls his own people to meet his bride’s people on a certain day. The bride’s people cook native porridge, which is eaten with a fowl, and the marriage is finally ratified. Unless this porridge and fowl are eaten by the parents of both parties to the marriage, it is neither legal nor binding, hence this meal may be regarded as their ceremony of marriage.’ This is stated to be ‘the normal and legal form of marriage among both Yaos and Anyasa.’ Though not mentioned in this account, it appears that a present is usually, if not always, made to the girl’s uncle.
In the Western Upper Shiré district, they have some sort of a dance at the wedding; but my only authority is a girl who did not give a very detailed account—only saying that the bride and bridegroom stand by, while ‘the people dance before them.’ The Wankonde marriage ceremonies show distinct traces of marriage by capture. It sometimes happens that women are actually ‘stolen’ and carried off as wives; but this is an illegal act, not a recognised form of marriage.
Other authorities represent the young man as going first to his own ‘surety’ (who may be his father, his uncle, or his elder brother), and getting his consent before approaching the girl’s relations. It will be noticed that he goes and builds a house at the bride’s home. This is the universal custom, where the marriage of free women is concerned, with both Anyanja and Yaos. It is connected with the fact (to which we shall return later on) that children belong to the mother’s kin, not the father’s. One of the new husband’s first duties is to hoe a garden for his mother-in-law, though he is bound by the rules of propriety to avoid her to a certain extent. He must not eat in her presence nor see her eat, and there are various other restrictions, all of which come to an end when he has brought her the first grandchild, with a present. The same rules apply also to the father-in-law, and to the maternal uncles of both; while the wife has to observe them with regard to her husband’s parents, and their uncles. The important position which the mother’s brother holds in the family will be referred to again later.
In practice, the number of wives varies from one to, in the case of a chief, perhaps twenty. The Makololo and Angoni chiefs used to delight in showing their consequence by huge harems of over a hundred women, and the latter, at least, were in the habit of demanding additional wives, from time to time, from their Anyanja subjects, making them send up a selection of their daughters, as they sent their sons to herd the chief’s cattle. But this custom was not followed by the indigenous tribes. Mr. Macdonald says that, ordinarily, it is a man’s ambition to have five—one free wife, and three or four slaves, who might at that time (some thirty years ago) be bought for two buckskins apiece in the Angoni country. A number of the Anyanja I knew on the other side of the Shiré had two, some, I think, only one. If a man has more than one free wife, he spends his time between their different villages, since each of them will remain at her home. His slave wives are brought to his village, or rather to that of his chief wife, where he settled on his marriage. They are supposed to be under her orders and do most of the work; she is sometimes a stern and even cruel taskmistress, but often they get on very amicably together. She usually calls them her ‘younger sisters.’
If a man has a second free wife, it is, as a rule, because he has inherited her from his elder brother according to Bantu custom. He also inherits the wives of his maternal uncle, if the latter has no younger brother living at the time of his death.
Wives may be captured in a raid, in which case there are no particular formalities about the marriage. Some of my Anyanja friends at Ntumbi had Yao wives who must have been obtained in this way, but appeared to have settled down quite happily.
‘Another way’—to complete the enumeration—is when a young man’s master or guardian (for he may, even if free, be under the tutelage of a real or nominal elder brother) provides him with a wife.
We have spoken of the ‘sureties’ or ‘sponsors,’ who take part in arranging a marriage. They, especially the wife’s, are of great importance in married life. They are usually the maternal uncles or elder brothers of the parties, and the woman’s represents her in all transactions of any moment.