You may talk of being chambermaid to a cow, but it’s worse being groom to a gun. These rifles have been in use all summer, and they’re all et up inside. They’re like fat men, they sweat. Then they rust. Put in some dope and swab the barrel, then take twenty-five dinky little squares of cotton flannel and run them through, and the last will be just as dirty as the first. Let it go at that, and put in some oil, and say Damn.
It takes three lacings below the knee to get yourself dressed, and three unlacings to get to bed, unless you want to be a real soldier boy, and sleep in your clothes. And only two hooks in all these lacings—the rest eyelets, eyelets. The cartridge belt has ten pockets; I found a clip of blanks in mine, and am keeping it to celebrate with. The proper way to draw your bayonet is not to cut your ear off. They tell me it’s been done. The outfitter lied to me. He sold me a tight blouse because we wore our sweaters over them, and here it’s against the rule and my sweater will never go under the blouse and I’ll freeze to death. Never believe anybody that says he knows.
When the horn blows pay no attention. It’s the top sergeant’s whistle you’ve got to jump for. If you want to know what to wear don’t ask him; the lieutenant will change the order and the captain will change it again. Ask the major, unless the general happens by. Always salute unless you happen to be smoking; if you have a pipe in your mouth, don’t see him. Fall River!
Sam.
Private Richard Godwin to His Mother
Sunday evening, Sep. 10th, 1916.
Dear Mother:—-
I had no sooner closed this morning’s addenda than I had to prepare for the bugaboo of tent inspection. A good bugaboo, of course, as at home it always pays to have visitors, we redd up the house so carefully. Our job this morning was not only to have the tent perfectly neat, but also to have our kits laid out on our beds according to regulations. One blanket was spread over the cot, the others were folded at the head, and on them the sweater and pillow. At the foot were folded the poncho and shelter half; then all the equipment was spread out. Under the head of the bed was the blue barrack-bag and the suit-case; under the foot the shoes. Then we stood in line in front of the tent, and watched while the lieutenant, coming from tent to tent, left each squad in a state of despair behind him. To cheer us, someone at the sergeants’ tent started a victrola, but a snap from the lieutenant ended that diversion. Result of it all: we were told to inspect a certain bed in Tent One, fold our blankets and ponchos right, and lay out our equipment according to a sacredly prescribed order. A meek procession filed in and out of the tent for the next half hour.