“Return to your literary work,” she suggested. “You have not the excuse of being obliged to write something that will sell. Write to please yourself, and in time you will find your audience.”
“If I were to write to please myself, the world and my own family in particular would think worse of me than they do at present.” And seeing that the Princess was not disposed to interrupt him, he went on: “The supreme sin in English eyes is truthfulness. Truthful thinking, truthful speaking, and truthful living are all equally under the ban. And the worst of it is that those who clamour most for freedom of thought are most severe on freedom of life, and those who live most freely are the least tolerant of free speech. The Dissenter persecutes the sportsman, and the sportsman persecutes the sage. All the racing men I have ever met have been bigoted High Churchmen, who would have cheerfully burnt Darwin and the late Mr. Spurgeon. And if they had begun with Darwin, they would have had Spurgeon’s help.”
Princess Adelaide sat silent for some time. The task of rescuing Alistair Stuart seemed to be more difficult than she and her husband had foreseen.
“I wish we could help you,” she said gently, at last.
“I am afraid I am not to be helped,” Alistair confessed sadly. “When I look back over my life, it seems to me that ever since I was twelve years old I have been surrounded by people knocking me over the head, and saying to me: ‘Don’t be Alistair Stuart.’ I have tried not to be Alistair Stuart, but I have failed. And the worst of it is that I am no longer ashamed of being Alistair Stuart. It seems to me that all these complaints ought to be addressed to my Creator. I did not make myself: God made me; let Him repent, not me.”
CHAPTER XIV
VIRTUE TRIUMPHANT
The Prince and Princess were obliged to confess to each other, when Lord Alistair was gone, that they had failed to find a way of unravelling the tangle of his life.
In reality they had done more than they knew. Their kindly treatment of him, coming just at the moment when he felt himself a social Ishmael, rejected by all classes in turn, had given him back no small portion of his self-respect. He could not help contrasting the delicate attentions of Prince Herbert, the representative of the greatest House in Europe, and an English gentleman to boot, with the pretentious compliments of the poor waif of royalty from the Mediterranean whose bogus honours he had stooped to accept a day or two before.
Nor could he resist the incense to his pride offered by the clumsy abasement of the pickle-selling baronet. It was something to feel that he still excited the envy of the Lawthorns and the Mendes. He might be a bankrupt, but he was still Lord Alistair Stuart, and heir to one of the greatest titles of Britain. The highest in the land still felt affection for him; the noblest women thought him worthy of their concern.
These reflections accompanied him on the way up to town the next morning, and prepared him to face his public examination with a lighter heart. After all, bankruptcy was not fatal to a man in his position. He had nothing to lose. His creditors could not take the allowance made him by his brother. But for Molly, indeed, he need not be a bankrupt at all. But for her, and his quixotic refusal to abandon her, the proceedings against him would have been dropped already, and he himself would be enjoying the traditional honours of the returned prodigal.