Lilian was glad to do it. She knew a person of refinement and education would see what her mother missed and perhaps doubt her ability. She made a draft and read it aloud to Mrs. Boyd.
“It sounds beautiful; I couldn’t have done it.”
Was it education that gave one the power, the sense of what was appropriate, or some underlying fact that she dared not face? What if it had been a great mistake in that far back time? Could it ever be remedied?
“Oh, mother, I thought last night that I shouldn’t want to live if I could never reach any of my aims. When I hear delicious music I feel it in my very finger ends. When I read about pictures and statuary and magnificent churches I can almost see them, and a rift in the sky, an autumnal branch of red brown leaves, nooks that I have seen now and then, looks that are grand and high and beautiful stir my very soul. Where did I get this from? Was my father—”
She looked really beautiful standing there, her eyes full of inspiration, her cheeks aglow, her scarlet lips quivering. Mrs. Boyd trembled with a mysterious chill, and a shiver went over her.
“Oh, no, no! he was a plain man, a good, honest man”—her voice failed.
“And if he had lived we should have been very happy, I know; and I did like the boarding house better. I wish we could have kept it, but to sit here day after day and not see any way out of the narrow distasteful life, feeling as if you could fly—am I wicked? Poor little mother do I frighten you? Oh, don’t cry, I am going to be a good daughter and not wish for impossible things if this comes true.”
She clasped her mother’s hands that were seldom idle so long. How thin they were with dullish, prominent veins. The mother looked past her child rather than at her, but she could feel the glowing, spirited force like a ghost out of the past that shook its upbraiding finger at her. She leaned her face on Lilian’s breast.
“Poor mother, dear mother,” in a sweet comforting tone. “I’m afraid I haven’t always been a loving daughter, but whatever comes we will share it together. In a few years I will be working for you, that is the splendid side to this offer.”
“But—if you shouldn’t be—some girls, young ladies think they must draw a line—”