Published by
GORDIAN PRESS, INC.

Library of Congress Card Catalog No 66-14638

Printed in the U.S.A. by
EDWARD BROTHERS INC.
Ann Arbor, Michigan


CONTENTS

[NEGLIGIBLE TALES]
[A Bottomless Grave]
[Jupiter Doke, Brigadier-General]
[The Widower Turmore]
[The City of the Gone Away]
[The Major's Tale]
[Curried Cow]
[A Revolt of the Gods]
[The Baptism of Dobsho]
[The Race at Left Bower]
[The Failure of Hope & Wandel]
[Perry Chumly's Eclipse]
[A Providential Intimation]
[Mr. Swiddler's Flip-Flap]
[The Little Story]
[THE PARENTICIDE CLUB]
[My Favorite Murder]
[Oil of Dog]
[An Imperfect Conflagration]
[The Hypnotist]
[THE FOURTH ESTATE]
[Mr. Masthead, Journalist]
[Why I am not Editing "The Stinger"]
[Corrupting the Press]
["The Bubble Reputation"]
[THE OCEAN WAVE]
[A Shipwreckollection]
[The Captain of "The Camel"]
[The Man Overboard]
[A Cargo af Cat]
["ON WITH THE DANCE!" A REVIEW]
[The Prude in Letters and Life]
[The Beating of the Blood]
[There are Corns in Egypt]
[A Reef in the Gabardine]
[Enter a Troupe of Ancients, Dancing]
[Cairo Revisited]
[Japan Wear and Bombay Ducks]
[In the Bottom of the Crucible]
[Counsel for the Defense]
[They all Dance]
[Lust, Quoth'a]
[Our Grandmothers' Legs]
[EPIGRAMS]

NEGLIGIBLE TALES


A BOTTOMLESS GRAVE

My name is John Brenwalter. My father, a drunkard, had a patent for an invention, for making coffee-berries out of clay; but he was an honest man and would not himself engage in the manufacture. He was, therefore, only moderately wealthy, his royalties from his really valuable invention bringing him hardly enough to pay his expenses of litigation with rogues guilty of infringement. So I lacked many advantages enjoyed by the children of unscrupulous and dishonorable parents, and had it not been for a noble and devoted mother, who neglected all my brothers and sisters and personally supervised my education, should have grown up in ignorance and been compelled to teach school. To be the favorite child of a good woman is better than gold.