H. (turning coin)—Head, Miles; tail, Shafter.

C.—Well?

H.—It is a smooth coin! (Writes) “The army before Santiago had no commander.”


FROSTING A BUD

McKinley, President. Hay, Secretary of State. Mark Hanna, Senator and Dictator Politicus.

McKinley—John, I am greatly troubled.

Hay—Permit me to send for the head of the Bureau of Exculpation and Avoidance.

McK.—Not to-day; it is another kind of matter.

H.—Ah, then; the Lord High Disheartener of the Importunate——