A gentleman of some literary pretensions from Boston enticed the hostess aside, and in the most cowardly manner intimated that she had erred in pronunciation, or else had a bad ear for rhyme. The insulted lady apprised the other gentlemen present of what had been said to her in her own house, and the fellow was energetically booted abroad, returning not any more to that place. And that is the pleasing incident above referred to.
Mrs. Follyswaddle’s reception in honor of Lord 'Arry Chortle of Wapping was enjoyable until his lordship was taken drunk; then the festivities were parted in the middle.
The Tollipoodles are Octobering in Sprouleville—all except the old man, who is Tollipoodling here, in the regular way. In him there is neither change nor shadow of turning—such as creation’s dawn beheld he Tollipoodleth now.
The wake of Malone Finucain last Thursday night was marred by but a single untoward incident—the corpse got up and kicked everybody out of the house. The widow desires us to say that the second wake of the series will take place at a date not now determined, and each guest will be supplied at the door with an attested copy of a physician’s certificate of death.
One of the most interesting souvenirs of royalty that this country can boast is in the possession of Miss Celeritie Hifli of this city. It was given to Miss Hifli by his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, who greatly admired her beauty. The souvenir is a Bank of England ten-pound note, which Miss Hifli has had framed and exhibits with pardonable pride. After the first few shocks, it is quite charming to observe her ingenuous way of speaking of his Royal Highness as “Al.”
Society is discussing a shocking scandal. It is difficult to get the particulars from an authentic source, but they are believed to be about as follows: Three weeks ago, on the death of Miss R——, the body was placed in the handsome tomb of Colonel H——, an old friend of the family, the fine mausoleum of the R——s being incomplete. The only occupant of the tomb when the body of Miss R—— was placed there was the remains of Colonel H——’s brother, but for the sake of propriety Mrs. X——, a friend of both families, had the mortal part of her mother conveyed there from another place. But on Tuesday last Mrs. X——, without notifying the R——s, had her mother’s body removed and sent East. From that day until yesterday the remains of Miss R—— were without a chaperon. Great indignation is felt against Mrs. X——, and it is thought that her action will seriously affect her social standing.
Rural
The festivities last Wednesday evening at the Turveypool mansion scooped the ranch. It was the slickest outfit of the season, and will shine in the annals of society worse than a new tin pan. The genial hostess was as affable as a candidate for coroner, and pitchforked her smiles about without caring a cuss where they struck and stuck. She’s the whitest woman in this social camp, and don’t you forget it.
Mrs. Flyorbust gave a reception on Friday evening, which in point of pure elegance knocked everything perfectly cold and was a regular round-up of beauty, rank and fashion. The fair hostess’ long residence in the social centers of Europe, where she experted some of the niftiest occasions, has taught her how to do such things white. Among those present we observed Mr. Flyorbust, Miss Flyorbust, Miss Georgiana Glorinda Flyorbust, and Master Tom Busted.
The engagement is announced of Mr. Megacephaloid Polliglot Paupertas, the distinguished and popular scion of the Munniglut stock, to a lady of acceptable fortune but humble birth, who is not at present in society and is therefore nameless in these columns. The wedding is expected to take place as soon as this person can dispose of some property in Hangtown. If the sale is auspiciously consummated the nuptials will eventuate with unscrupulous grandiosity.