In Madgigascar the natif niggers build their houses on the tops of posts for to keep the snakes out, and one day 2 natifs was a settin on the floor playin cards, and a rhi nosey rose he had gone under the house. Then he stuck his horn up through the floor between the niggerses legs. One of them said: “Whats that?”
But the other feller, which had just played a card, and was a studdyin his hand, and didnt see the horn, and he said: “You know what it is well enough, have you got any thing to beat it? Thats the question.”
The other feller said he didnt believe he had, and arose his self up and jumped out of the window. Then the rhi walked away with the house on his head, and you never have saw such a astonish feller as the one which was a studdyin his hand!
When the rhi meets the ephalent he roots him with his sticker in the stumach of the belly, like the rhi was a hog, and the eph he wollups the rhi with his proboscus, like beatin a carpet for to get the dust out. My picture book it says that when the rhi has got the eph on his sticker the ephs grease runs in to the rhis eyes and puts them out. I asked Mister Gipple, which has been in Africa, if that was so. Mister Gip he thought a while, and bime by he said: “Yes, that was true a long while ago, but one day the rhi nosey roses they held a public meetin to see if something couldnt be done about it. There was a hundred ways pointed out for to stop it, but all them which had the best plans and made the longest speeches was the blind fellers. Bime by a old rhi which hadnt said any thing he rose hisself up and said: 'Mister chairman, I have give this matter much atention, and while I aint sure that the trouble can be untirely stopped, I think mebby some thing might be done toward it by keepin away from the ephalents.’
“Then they all rised in wrath and gored him with their stickers, and put him out, cause they said this was a pratticle matter and they didnt want nobodys fine spun theories.
“After a while a rhi which had been away he come in and asked what was the objek of the meetin, and when he was told he spoke up and said: 'You gam doodled idiots, why dont you stickum in the back? Grease don’t run up hill.’
“Then they all hollered: 'Hooray! thats jest what we was a goin to say our selfs. We will make this feller our king!’
“So they put a gold crown on his head, and give him a jacknife with 4 blades, and a kite, and a peg top, and some fire crackers, and all the candy which he could eat.
“And now, Johnny, Ile tell you a other. One time a rhi it got mired in the mud of the Nile, which had overflew its banks, and the rhi was about to be drownded in the water. While he was thinkin of all the sins which he done, how he had gored the poor little hi potamuses, and trampled down the niggerses corn, and hadnt looked like the pictures on the circus posters, and every thing naughty, there was a cammel. Then the rhi he hollered: 'Bully for you! I thought no body would come along, but I see that the righteous is never forsook.’
“The cammel he looked a while, real solemn out of his eyes, as you so graphicle say, and then he said: 'What special advantage do you promise your self from my knowin that there is the remains of a rhi nosey rose under the mud of this river?’