Sag.—What! a Diabolocracy? You shock me!

McK.—Fourth, none of the islands, nor any part of them, is to be ceded to any foreign nation without the consent of the United States.

Ag.—You understand, Señor—you hear that! Spain can never again acquire a square foot of these islands, not even by reconquest or a corrupt bargain with a recreant Filipino dictator, for she will again have to reckon with our powerful protectors, whom may the good God reward!

McK.—The trouble with you is, you talk too much. Fifth, the United States must have in the Philippines equal commercial privileges with Spain.

Ag.—Equal? May I never again run amuck if they shall not have superior! Why, I have it in mind to issue a proclamation closing every port to the ships of Spain. As to the United States, commercial primacy is a small reward for their assistance in the closing scene of our successful rebellion.

Sag.—Of course, as you say, I shall have to accept whatever terms you have the great kindness to offer. As I understand your proposal, Spain retains all the islands but Luzon; that is to belong to the United States, and——

Ag.—What!

Sag.—This worthy Oriental appears to be laboring under a misapprehension.

McK.—I know of nothing else that could make an Oriental labor.

Ag.—Señores, the language of diplomacy is to me an unfamiliar tongue: I have imperfectly understood—pardon me. Is it indeed intended that the United States shall take Luzon and Spain take all else?