Mr. Dummle speaks of it with perfect frankness and composure.
.... In deference to a time-worn custom, on the first day of the year the writer swore to, affixed a revenue stamp upon, and recorded the following document:—
“I will not, during this year, utter a profane word—unless in sport—without having been previously vexed by something.
“I will murder no one that does not offend me, except for his money.
“I will commit highway robbery upon none but small school children, and then only under the stimulus of present or prospective hunger.
“I will not bear false witness against my neighbour where nothing is to be made by it.
“I will be as moral and religious as the law shall compel me to be.
“I will run away with no man’s wife without her full and free consent, and never, no never, so help me heaven! will I take his children along.
“I wont write any wicked slanders against anybody, unless by refraining I should sacrifice a good joke.
“I wont beat any cripples who do not come fooling about me when I am busy; and I will give all my neighbours’ boots to the poor.”