"When you seek for God with all your heart and with all your soul, Ian, you will find him."
"Do I not seek for Him with all my heart? I do! I do!"
Thus, in constantly soothing and strengthening the unhappy man, the weary months passed slowly away. And during them Ian was deteriorating both spiritually and physically, so much so that Mrs. Caird began to wonder if he ought not to be relieved from the strain of living so difficult a double life. Was there any necessity which would justify it?
"And he ought to be so happy," she said one day to herself, with a sob of something between anger and pity, "he ought to be constantly thanking God about his children, and he can think of nothing but what he himself wants, and that want a spiritual gift that few obtain. If he cannot believe Christ and the multitudes who have done so and found it sufficient, in whom, then, can he believe? There will be no special dispensation for Ian Macrae, and he need not be looking for it."
This fretful soliloquy took place nearly two years after the coming of those miserable books of Lord Cramer's into Dr. Macrae's life. He read others constantly which he hoped would nullify their power, but every fresh scientific or theological writer had only made his doubts and perplexities more and more confused and distressing; and it seemed at last, even to Jessy Caird, that he ought to be released from playing a part, which, however much good it did to others, was killing in its personal effects.
It was at this crisis he was walking one lovely Spring morning up Buchanan Street, and met Major Macrae. They clasped hands with an understanding smile, and the Major said, "I want an hour's talk with you, Ian. It is important. Come home with me." So they went together to Blytheswood Square, and into the little office at the back of the house, and the Major said:
"Ian, I am ready to recall Lord Cramer, and you will be glad to know that his estate is now money-making and in good condition; and, as my application for unlimited parole is not likely to be refused, there is no reason for delaying my niece's marriage."
"You must have great power with the War Office?"
"I am the power behind the power. Also, it is the desire of the Government that all noblemen should be on their estates. I have no doubt Lord Cramer will receive what he desires."
"He owed a large sum of money. Have you performed a miracle?"