For Phyllis was aware that such a messenger would only make more trouble. Harriet was known to be her maid, and John was known to be her lover. To do anything which would give cause for ill-natured remarks was to find Richard the excuse which would permit him active interference. “I must avoid the appearance of evil,” she said, anxiously. “What must I do?”
“Clar’ I don’t know, Miss Phill. ‘Pears like you’se on a bery dangerous road. I reckon you’d best pray for de grace to choose de cleanest, safest steppin’-stones.”
“Yes; that is best, Harriet.”
But Phyllis was not one of those rash beings who rush into the presence of God without thought or solemnity. Slowly bending, body and soul, she communed with her own heart and was still, until it burned within her, and the supplication came. When she rose from her knees, she was resigned in all things to God’s will, no matter what self-denial it involved; and she was not unhappy. For, O believe this truth, the saddest thing under the sky is a soul incapable of sadness! Most blessed are those souls who are capable of lodging so great a guest as Sorrow, who know how to regret, and how to desire, and who have learned that with renunciation life begins.
And Phyllis foresaw that renunciation would be the price of peace. At the commencement of the inquiry with her own soul she had refused to entertain the idea. She had tried to find reasons for seeking some other human adviser than Bishop Elliott, because she feared that he would counsel hard things to her. Ere she slept, however, she had determined to go to him very early in the morning.
But while she was drinking her coffee John Millard entered the room. He took her hands, and, looking sorrowfully into her face, said, “Phyllis, my dearest, it was not my fault.”
“I believe you, John.”
“And you love me, Phyllis?”
“I shall always love you, for I believe you will always try to deserve my love. But we must part at present. I was just going to ask the Bishop to tell you this. I can trust you, John, and you can trust me. He will tell you what you ought to do. And don’t think hard of me if I say ‘good-bye’ now; for though Richard went to the plantation last night, he may be back any hour, and for my sake you must avoid him.”
“Phyllis; you are asking a very hard thing. Richard has said words which I can scarcely ignore. Two or three men have inquired if I was going to put up with them?”