If you wish to be always thirsty, be a Drunkard; for the oftener and more you drink, the oftener and more thirsty you will be.
If you seek to prevent your friends raising you in the world, be a Drunkard; for that will defeat all their efforts.
If you would effectually counteract your own attempts to do well, be a Drunkard; and you will not be disappointed.
If you wish to repel the endeavors of the whole human race to raise you to character, credit, and prosperity, be a Drunkard; and you will most assuredly triumph.
If you are determined to be poor, be a Drunkard; and you will soon be ragged and pennyless.
If you would wish to starve your family, be a Drunkard; for that will consume the means of their support.
If you would be imposed on by knaves, be a Drunkard; for that will make their task easy.
If you would wish to be robbed, be a Drunkard; which will enable the thief to do it with more safety.
If you would wish to blunt your senses, be a Drunkard; and you will soon be more stupid than an ass.