Suppose they found out that she had been schooled in a first-class institution in Denver—probably as well schooled as they themselves? What would they say? How would they feel should they suddenly make these discoveries?
But, while she sat there and studied the problem out, Helen came to at least one determination: While she remained in the Starkweather house she would keep from her uncle and cousins the knowledge of these facts.
She would not reveal her real character to them. She would continue to parade before them and before their friends the very rudeness and ignorance that they had expected her to betray.
“They are ashamed of me—let them be ashamed,” she said, to herself, bitterly. “They hate me—I’ll give them no reason for loving me, I promise you! They think me a pauper—I’ll be a pauper. Until I get ready to leave here, at least. Then I can settle with Uncle Starkweather in one lump for all the expense to which he may be put for me.
“I’ll buy no nice dresses—or hats—or anything else. They sha’n’t know I have a penny to spend. If they want to treat me like a poor relation, let them. I’ll be a poor relation.
“I must learn the truth about poor dad’s trouble,” she told herself again. “Uncle Starkweather must know something about it. I want to question him. He may be able to help me. I may get on the track of that bookkeeper. And he can tell me, surely, where to find Fenwick Grimes, father’s old partner.
“No. They shall serve me without knowing it. I will be beholden to them for my bread and butter and shelter—for a time. Let them hate and despise me. What I have to do I will do. Then I’ll ‘pay the shot,’ as Big Hen would say, and walk out and leave them.”
It was a bold determination, but not one that is to be praised. Yet, Helen had provocation for the course she proposed to pursue.
She finally unlocked her trunk and hung up the common dresses and other garments she had brought with her. She had intended to ask her cousins to take her shopping right away, and she, like any other girl of her age, longed for new frocks and pretty hats.
But there was a lot of force in Helen’s character. She would go without anything pretty unless her cousins offered to buy it themselves. She would bide her time.