Then presently she laughed at herself at her effort to defend her husband's character. "What does it matter to me? He goes his way, and I go mine, and we don't wish for anything different. We disagree very seldom, and when we do, he gives in quite as often as I do. We get on very happily together; but if I were to ask him to stay at home altogether, it would be a great mistake. He would get restless and miserable, and then he would be irritable, and we should drift into a captious couple. We have not the foundation for a happy wedded life, there is no love between us, so we have to be doubly careful as to our behaviour towards each other."
All this and more she told herself, but deep down in her heart there was more than a real liking for the handsome, self-willed man. She would not acknowledge that the tone of his voice and laugh, the sound of his quick, active feet about the house, that mischievous twinkle in his eyes which so often appeared in his talks with her and with Ruffie, brought a thrill to her soul.
Sometimes she wondered if he were still indifferent to her. She knew he appreciated her and respected her. He thanked her again and again for what she had done to the house and to his children. But there were times when he would put his hand on her shoulder, and speak to her in almost a tender tone. She always laughed such moments off, but often she felt nearer to tears. When he seemed to soften, she herself would harden, but she did it in self-defence. Never, she assured herself, would she show by word or touch or look that she craved for the love of his heart. He had warned her when they married that she must not have any expectations in that quarter. And she meant to stand by his conditions and not go one iota beyond them.
[CHAPTER VIII]
AN ENCOUNTER IN THE FELLS
ONE afternoon Anstice asked the little girls if they would like to ride over the Fells with her to Ramdale.
"I am going to see Louise," she said; "and it will be a lovely ride."
They were of course delighted to accompany her.
"Why can't I go too?" demanded Ruffie.
"It is rather too long for you, darling," Anstice told him. "You mustn't be unhappy at staying at home. To-morrow, if it is fine, it will be your turn. You and I will go off together, and Josie and Georgie stay at home."