She knew that John was pessimistic, and went to sleep with an untroubled mind.
But early the next morning, she was roused.
Old Mr. Desmond had had another stroke, and though the doctor was sent for, and everything was done that could be, he never rallied, but passed away unconsciously before twenty-four hours were over. Jean was almost stunned by the suddenness of it. She had no one to come to her to help at this sad time, but the doctor and her grandfather's lawyer arranged matters, and she, with a few of Mr. Desmond's old friends, followed him to the grave one bright September morning. She telegraphed the sad news to Charlie, and then, packing up her things, moved back to her London lodgings.
The old servants remonstrated with her, and begged her to stay till Charlie Oxton returned.
Jean was quite firm.
"It is not my house," she said. "It never has been. It belongs to Mr. Oxton now, and I know you will have a good master."
"But we want a missis," said Rawlings. "Mr. Charles never could manage here. Look at the downfall after Elsie went away! I never said much, but it sheer disgusted me to see the place go down so. Mary be too on in years, Miss Jean. Well, there, I'll say no more, for I know Mr. Charles's mind, and we'll see you back as missis yet!"
Jean went back to town with a sad heart. She parted with her Bible-class lads with real sorrow, for she felt they were being influenced. She did not regret her time spent with her invalid grandfather, but she did regret not making better use of her opportunities in her intercourse with him. "I might have talked to him more about unseen things. If I had only known! He seemed so uninterested, so bitterly disposed towards any religion. Oh, how I wish I had a readier tongue about the things I love! I ought to be longing to bring others to my Master, to win them for His cause, and I am silent and tongue-tied when the opportunity comes."
She opened her heart to Mrs. Douglas, who answered her very lovingly.
"Only the close presence of your Saviour, dear Jean," she wrote, "will give you the longing and the power to speak for Him. Do you remember after the disciples had walked and talked with their Master on the road to Emmaus, how they said their hearts burned within them on the way? It is this heart-burning that we want so badly nowadays, when there is so much slackness and half-heartedness in our Christianity. Pray for it, dear, and ask for the realisation of the Master's presence. That alone will give it to you."