“Oh, he jest laughs,” said Mrs Shivers rather contemptuously. “You know his way. But Mrs Roy, I can see she’s timid about it, though she won’t hear it talked on. She’s afraid this new gal will get frightened away like the other.”
At this moment, when Biddy’s ears were strained to the utmost, and her eyes had grown large and round with horror, her mistress’s voice calling her from the other side of the house roused her with a guilty shock. She recovered herself as well as she could and went hurriedly away, but the knowledge which she took with her destroyed her peace of mind for many a day. Things hitherto familiar and friendly now became full of terror, and the comfort of her life was gone. Even her own shadow, cast by the flickering fire and dancing in grotesque shape on the ceiling, made her shudder; and when at night she peered timidly out of her lattice, and saw the row of elms standing dark against the sky at the end of the field, she shook with fear. Turning hastily from this to the shelter of the bed-clothes she would find no refuge, but a place full of restless fancies; for now, instead of dropping at once into a dreamless slumber, she remained broad awake and seemed to hear fragments of the ghost story over and over again. The “old Truslow,” the flapping ears, the terrible adventure of the last nurse-girl chased each other through her poor little worried mind and would not be forgotten. Crazy Sall’s words came back to her, and she heard her repeat mockingly: “You don’t sleep much at nights, I reckon?”
Biddy became very miserable, for even sunshine and the baby in her arms were powerless to drive away those dark fancies entirely, though they then became easier to bear. It was not only the consciousness of knowing about the ghost, but to know it alone and not to talk of it to anyone! That was doubly dreadful. Sometimes she thought she must tell her mistress or Mrs Shivers, but then she remembered she would also have to confess her disobedience. She could not do that, for Mrs Roy would never trust her again, and perhaps send her away. What would mother say then? A good place and seven pounds a year lost! It was impossible to risk it.
So she kept silence, but it was a heavy burden to bear, and under its weight she became downcast and gloomy, a different Biddy from the briskly alert one of two months ago. The baby was the first to notice this. She missed her nurse’s cheerful voice, and looking up in her face found there a settled sadness instead of the usual ready smile. This she resented in her own fashion, and cried dismally, wrinkling up her tiny features in disgust, and when this had happened once or twice Mrs Roy’s attention was also drawn to the change.
“Are you quite well and happy, Biddy?” she asked. “You don’t look so bright as you used to.”
Biddy twisted up the corners of her apron and hung her head on one side, but made no answer.
“Are you quite happy, Biddy?” persisted her mistress.
Biddy would have given worlds to say, “I’m terr’ble afraid of the ghost,” but her tongue refused to utter the words, and after waiting a moment Mrs Roy turned away. But that night she said to her husband in mournful emphatic tones:
“Richard, I hope it’s only my nervousness, but I do believe that somehow or other Biddy has heard something about that.”
No one was quite happy and comfortable at Truslow Manor just now, for latterly the baby had been ailing; she had evidently caught a chill and was feverish and fretful. “How could Dulcie have taken cold?” Mrs Roy wondered many times in the day, while the conscience-stricken Biddy stood speechless, and thought of that conversation at the kitchen door. Mr Roy was made uneasy too by his wife’s anxiety, and also felt deeply incapable of making any suggestion about the origin or treatment of Dulcie’s illness; everything seemed a little ruffled and disturbed in its usual even flow.