Peace was somewhat restored after Dickie had been allowed to stroke the kitten on Nurse’s lap; but it was not a cheerful carriageful that arrived shortly afterwards at the Vicarage, every one seemed to have something to grumble at and be injured about.
“I’m thankful to be home,” said Nurse to Jane as they went upstairs. “I’d rather anyday have a week’s work than an afternoon’s pleasure.”
As for Pennie, she dropped her money into the china-house, and went to bed that night with the feelings of a martyr. She would not give up her plan, but she was now beginning to see that it was a failure. No one showed any real interest in it—no one except herself was willing to sacrifice anything in the cause. It was certainly lonely and uncomfortable to stand so high above other people.
Chapter Four.
“Kettles.”
Pennie was haunted for days after the fair by the bright pages of “Siegfried the Dragon Slayer,” for she became more and more conscious that she had made a useless sacrifice. She might just as well have bought it, she sadly reflected; none of the others seemed the least likely to help her in her plan, and certainly she could not carry it out alone. The more she thought of it the more injured and disappointed she felt. It was certainly a good plan, and it was certainly right to sacrifice one’s self; of those two things she was sure, and it both hurt and surprised her to be unable to impress this on her brothers and sisters. Pennie was used to command, and accustomed to success in most of her little schemes, and it seemed hard to be deserted in this way. She stood on a lonely height of virtue, conscious of setting a good example of generosity; but it was not a cheerful position, and, besides, no one seemed to notice it, which was vexatious and trying. This made her by turns condescending and cross, so that she was neither so happy herself nor so pleasant a companion as she had been.
“I can’t think why you’re so disagreeable,” said Nancy at last. “If it’s because you’ve put all your money into the box, I wish you’d take it out again and be as you were before.”
“You don’t understand,” said Pennie, “you never give up anything.”