Uncle Abe being asked once why he walked so crookedly? said, "Oh my nose, you see, is crooked, and I have to follow it!"
Take Away the Fowls.
After Uncle Abe had studied law some time and whilst travelling in the Prairie country in Knox County, Illinois, he stopped at the house of Mrs. Galt, an old Scotch lady whose husband was largely engaged in wool growing. Abe at this time was beginning to be proud of his learning, especially of his pronunciation of English. Mrs. Galt when dinner was over desired the servant in waiting to take away the fowls, which she, (as is sometimes done in Scotland), pronounced fools, "I presume, madam, you mean fowls" said Abe rather sententiously. "Very well, be it so," said Mrs. Galt; "take away the fowls, but let the fool remain!"
Uncle Abe Well Fed.
Old Whitey, Abe's school master, said to him angrily one day, "Abraham you are better fed than taught!"
"Should think I was," said Abe, "as I feed myself and you teach me!"