There are laddies will drive ye a ba’
To the burn frae the farthermost tee,
But ye mauna think driving is a’,
Ye may heel her, and send her ajee,
Ye may land in the sand or the sea;
And ye’re dune, sir, ye’re no worth a preen,
Tak’ the word that an auld man ’ll gie,
Tak’ aye tent to be up on the green!
The auld folk are crouse, and they craw
That their putting is pawky and slee;
In a bunker they’re nae gude ava’,
But to girn, and to gar the sand flee.
And a lassie can putt—ony she,—
Be she Maggy, or Bessie, or Jean,
But a cleek-shot’s the billy for me,
Tak’ aye tent to be up on the green!
I hae play’d in the frost and the thaw,
I hae play’d since the year thirty-three,
I hae play’d in the rain and the snaw,
And I trust I may play till I dee;
And I tell ye the truth and nae lee,
For I speak o’ the thing I hae seen—
Tom Morris, I ken, will agree—
Tak’ aye tent to be up on the green!
ENVOY.
Prince, faith you’re improving a wee,
And, Lord, man, they tell me you’re keen;
Tak’ the best o’ advice that can be,
Tak’ aye tent to be up on the green!
DOUBLE BALLADE OF PRIMITIVE MAN.
TO J. A. FARRER.
He lived in a cave by the seas,
He lived upon oysters and foes,
But his list of forbidden degrees,
An extensive morality shows;
Geological evidence goes
To prove he had never a pan,
But he shaved with a shell when he chose,—
’Twas the manner of Primitive Man.
He worshipp’d the rain and the breeze,
He worshipp’d the river that flows,
And the Dawn, and the Moon, and the trees,
And bogies, and serpents, and crows;
He buried his dead with their toes
Tucked-up, an original plan,
Till their knees came right under their nose,—
’Twas the manner of Primitive Man.
His communal wives, at his ease,
He would curb with occasional blows;
Or his State had a queen, like the bees
(As another philosopher trows):
When he spoke, it was never in prose,
But he sang in a strain that would scan,
For (to doubt it, perchance, were morose)
’Twas the manner of Primitive Man!