These we conceive to be the feelings and views expressed by the apostle in the beginning of this chapter—but that he should wish to be put into the place of Christ; or madly with evil to himself, from which nobody could be benefited, cannot be suspected; unless with Festus, we suppose him to have been "beside himself," and not to have known what he wrote, when he expressed himself as in the text.
REFLECTIONS
I. In Paul's conversion how wonderfully apparent are the wisdom and power of God? When we view Saul of Tarsus making havoc of the church in Judea, and soliciting permission to pursue its scattered members even into exile, we consider him as a determined enemy of Christ. Who then would suspect that he should be made to feel the power of divine grace? That he would become a Christian? Yea, a prime minister of Immanuel! But lo! For this cause did God raise him up! For this work was he training while drinking at the fount of Science, and learning the Jews' religion in the school of Gamaliel! While unsanctified he was a destroyer; but when melted by divine influence into the temper of the gospel, all his powers and all his acquisitions were consecrated to the service of God and the Redeemer.
To affect this change in Paul, however unexpected, was not beyond the power of God; and it was done of God! Neither was it delayed till Paul had spent his best days in the service of Satan. At setting out to destroy, he was met of the ascended Savior, transformed by the renewing of his mind, and from that time devoted to the service of God; and continued faithful unto death. Many were his trials—severe his sufferings for the gospel which he preached; but "none of these things moved him; neither did he count his life dear to himself, that he might finish his course with joy, and the ministry which he had received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God."<
II. The temper manifested by St. Paul when contemplating the state of his nation, how worthy of imitation? Like his divine Lord, "when he beheld them he wept over them." Neither was the view unprofitable. It served to remind him of his own past guilt and danger, and the mercy which had been exercised toward him. His guilt and danger had been great. In high handed opposition to heaven, he had even exceeded "his kinsmen according to the flesh." Witnessing their state brought these again to his remembrance, and the grace of God which had stopt him in his course, and saved him from destruction, causing him at once, to rejoice and tremble!
Many of the children of God when they witness the security of sinners; how they neglect the great salvation, and harden themselves in sin, may remember when they did the same themselves and some of them, in a higher degree than most of those who appear to be walking the downward road.
Those who have found mercy cannot refrain from mourning over those whom they see hardening themselves in sin; nor should they cease to warn them from their way, and to cry to God in their behalf. But their attention is not wholly taken up from home; it often reverts thither, and stirs them up to grateful acknowledgments of divine goodness to themselves. WHO is he that maketh me to differ from the thoughtless sinner? is a consideration which often rises in the good man's mind, while looking on the careless and secure. It is a proper and a profitable consideration—tends to keep him humble and mindful of his dependence.
Sense of past dangers serve to enhance the value of present safety. The greater dangers we have escaped, and the more wonderful our deliverances have been, the greater should be our love to our deliverer, and the greater our care to make him suitable returns. If we entertain just views of these things, such will be the effect. Those to whom most is forgiven love the most.
By reflecting on the riches of divine mercy, we should stir up our souls to love the Lord. If witnessing the unconcern of others, while in the broad road, serves to excite us to gratitude for divine goodness shown to us, "the wrath of man is thereby made to praise the Lord." Such was the effect which a view of Israel's hardness had on Paul—May all Christ's disciples cultivate the same temper.
III. In Paul's conversion we see God distinguishing among his enemies, and calling one into his kingdom who was, from principle, a destroyer of his saints. Paul was a Pharisee and the son of a Pharisee. No sect among the Jews was more bitter against Christ—no other so eager and active in their endeavors to crush his cause and subvert his kingdom. Yet numbers of that sect obtained mercy. The same did not happen respecting the Saducees. No instance of a Saducee brought to repentance, can be adduced. Why this discrimination?