The attorney, accordingly, was sent for—of course the very man wished for—the lover of Backgammon before mentioned. The good man came; he took the 'instructions,' and drew up the last will and testament of the ruined turfite, who left (in the will) about L50,000, which no man ever heard of, living or dead.
The BUSINESS being done, the patient said that if he had a moment's relaxation he thought he should rally and overcome the malady. The poor lawyer said if he could in any way contribute to his comfort he should be happy. The offer was embraced by observing that if he could sit up in bed—but he was afraid he was not able—a hit at Backgammon would be a great source of amusement.
The lawyer, like all adepts in such matters, was only too willing to catch at the idea; the board was brought.
Of course the man who had L50,000 to leave behind could not be expected to play 'for love;' and so when Mr H—e proposed 'a pound a hit or treble a gammon,' the lawyer not only thought it reasonable, but, conscious of his power in the game, eagerly accepted the terms of playing. They played; but the lawyer was gammoned almost incessantly, till he lost L50. Then H—e proposed 'double or quits to L1000,'—thereupon the poor lawyer, believing that fortune could not always forsake him, said he had but L2000 in the world, but that he would set the L1000. He lost; and became almost frantic. In the midst of his excessive grief, H—e said, 'You have a HORSE, what is it worth?' L50 was the answer. 'Well, well, you may win all back now, and I'll set L50 on your horse.'
They began again. Lost! 'You have a COW in your paddock, haven't you? What's that worth?' asked Mr H—e. The attorney said L12. 'Well, I'll set that sum by way of giving you a chance.' The game proceeded, and the poor lawyer, equally unfortunate, raved and swore he had lost his last shilling. 'No, no!' said H—e,' you have not: I saw a HAY-RICK in your ground. It is of no use now that the horse and cow are gone—what is that worth?' L15, replied the attorney, with a sigh. 'I set L15 then,' said H—e.
This seemed to be 'rather too much' for the lawyer. The loss of the hay-rick—like the last straw laid on the overladen camel's back—staggered him. Besides, he thought he saw—as doubtless he did see—H—e twisting his fingers round one of the dice. Up he started at once, and declared that he was cheated!
Thereupon the sick man forgot his sickness, jumped out of bed, and gave the lawyer a regular drubbing, got the cheque for the L2000,—but the horse, cow, and hay he said he would leave 'until further orders.'
A VERY CURIOUS STORY.
An Archbishop of Canterbury was once on a tour, when a genteel man, apparently in earnest conversation, though alone in a wood, attracted his notice. His Grace made up to him, and, after a little previous conversation, asked him what he was about.
Stranger. 'I am at play.'
Archbishop. 'At play? With whom? I see nobody.'
Sir. 'I own, sir, my antagonist is not visible: I am playing
with God.'
Abp. 'At what game, pray, sir?'
Str. 'At Chess.'
Abp. 'Do you play for anything?'
Str. 'Certainly.'
Abp. 'You cannot have any chance, as your adversary must be so
superior to you.'
Str. 'He takes no advantage, but plays merely as a man.'
Abp. 'When you win or lose, how do you settle accounts?'
Str. 'Very exactly and punctually.'
Abp. 'Indeed! Pray, how stands your game now?'
Str. 'There! I have just lost!'
Abp. 'How much have you lost?'
Str. 'Fifty guineas.'
Abp. 'How do you manage to pay it? Does God take your money?'
Str. 'No! The poor are his treasurers. He always sends some
worthy person to receive it, and you are at present his
purse-bearer.'