“The Times is the Jefferies of the press.”
What could have induced any one to take so much trouble thus to plant a hidden insult into the leading journal, we cannot divine. “East,” “He Blew,” “Willie and Fanny,” “Dominoes,” and “My darling A.,” need not feel uncomfortable although we know their secrets. We have said quite enough to prove to these individuals that such ciphers as they use, are picked immediately by any cryptographic Hobbs; indeed, all systems of writing which depend upon transmutations of the letters of the alphabet, or the substitution of figures for letters, such as we generally find in the Times, are mere puzzles for children, and not worthy of the more cunning or finished in the art.
It is not to be expected, with all the caution exhibited by the morning papers to prevent the insertion of swindling advertisements that rogues do not now and then manage to take advantage of their great circulation for the sake of forwarding their own nefarious schemes. Sir Robert Carden has just done good service by running to earth the Mr. Fynn, who for years has lived abroad in splendour at the expense of the poor governesses he managed to victimize through the advertising columns of the Times. One’s heart sickens at the stream of poor young ladies his promises have dragged across the continent, and the consequences which may have resulted from their thus putting their reputation as well as their money into his power. Such scandalous traps as these are, of course, rare; but the papers are full of minor pitfalls, into which the unwary are continually falling, sometimes with their eyes wide open. Of the latter class are the matrimonial advertisements; here is a specimen of one of the most artful of its kind we ever remember to have seen:—
To girls of fortune—matrimony.—A bachelor, young, amiable, handsome, and of good family, and accustomed to move in the highest sphere of society, is embarrassed in his circumstances. Marriage is his only hope of extrication. This advertisement is inserted by one of his friends. Ingratitude was never one of his faults, and he will study for the remainder of his life to prove his estimation of the confidence placed in him.—Address, post-paid, L. L. H. L., 47, King Street, Soho.—N.B. The witticisms of cockney scribblers deprecated.
The air of candour, and the taking portrait of the handsome bachelor, whose very poverty is converted into a charm, is cleverly assumed. An announcement of a much less flattering kind, but probably of a more genuine and honourable nature, was published in Blackwood some time ago, which we append, as, like Landseer’s dog-pictures, the two form a capital pair illustrative of high and low life.
Matrimonial advertisement.—I hereby give notice to all unmarried women, that I, John Hobnail, am at this writing five-and-forty, a widower, and in want of a wife. As I wish no one to be mistaken, I have a good cottage, with a couple of acres of land, for which I pay 2l. a year. I have five children, four of them old enough to be in employment; three sides of bacon, and some pigs ready for market. I should like to have a woman fit to take care of her house when I am out. I want no second family. She may be between forty and fifty if she likes. A good sterling woman would be preferred, who would take care of the pigs.
The following is also matter of fact, but it looks suspicious:—
Matrimony to milliners and dressmakers. A young man about to EMIGRATE to South Australia would be happy to form an alliance with a young woman in the above line possessing 60l. or 100l. property. Any one so disposed, by applying by letter (post-paid) to T. Hall, 175, Upper Thames Street, till Saturday next, appointing an interview, may depend on prompt attention and strict secrecy.—Times, 1845.
The matrimonial bait is so obviously a good one, that of late years we see advertisements of institutions, at which regular lists of candidates for the marriage state, both male and female, are kept, together with portraits, and a ledger in which pecuniary and mental qualifications are neatly posted. Such springes are only suited, however, for the grossest folly; but there is another class of advertisements which empties the pockets of the industrious and aspiring in a very workmanlike manner: we allude to such as the following:—
Gentlemen having a respectable circle of acquaintance may hear of means of INCREASING their INCOME without the slightest pecuniary risk, or of having (by any chance) their feelings wounded. Apply for particulars, by letter, stating their position, &c., to W. R., 37, Wigmore Street, Cavendish Square.