It was in May 1645, the first time I went out of my chamber and to church, where, after service, Sir William Parkhurst, a very honest gentleman, came to me, and said he had a letter for me from your father and fifty pieces of gold, and was coming to bring them to me. I opened first my letter, and read those inexpressible joys that almost overcame me, for he told me I should the Thursday following come to him, and to that purpose he had sent me that money, and would send two of his men with horses, and all accommodation both for myself, my father, and sister, and that Lady Capell and Lady Bradford would meet me on the way; but that gold your father sent me when I was ready to perish, did not so much revive me as his summons. I went immediately to walk, or at least to sit in the air, being very weak, in the garden of St. John's College, and there, with my good father, communicated my joy, who took great pleasure to hear of my husband's good success and likewise of his journey to him. We, all of my household being present, heard drums beat in the highway, under the garden wall. My father asked me if I would go up upon the mount to see the soldiers march, for it was Sir Charles Lee's company of foot, an acquaintance of ours; I said yes, and went up, leaning my back to a tree that grew on the mount. The commander seeing us there, in compliment gave us a volley of shot, and one of their muskets being loaded, shot a brace of bullets not two inches above my head as I leaned to the tree, for which mercy and deliverance I praise God. And next week we were all on our journey for Bristol very merry, and thought that now all things would mend, and the worst of my misfortunes past, but little thought I to leap into the sea that would toss me until it had racked me; but we were to ride all night by agreement, for fear of the enemy surprising us as they passed, they quartering in the way. About nightfall having travelled about twenty miles, we discovered a troop of horse coming towards us, which proved to be Sir Marmaduke Rawdon, a worthy commander and my countryman: he told me, that hearing I was to pass by his garrison, he was come out to conduct me, he hoped as far as was danger, which was about twelve miles: with many thanks we parted, and having refreshed ourselves and horses, we set forth for Bristol, where we arrived on the 2Oth of May.
My husband had provided very good lodgings for us, and as soon as he could come home from the Council, where he was at my arrival, he with all expressions of joy received me in his arms, and gave me a hundred pieces of gold, saying, "I know thou that keeps my heart so well, will keep my fortune, which from this time I will ever put into thy hands as God shall bless me with increase." And now I thought myself a perfect queen, and my husband so glorious a crown, that I more valued myself to be called by his name than born a princess, for I knew him very wise and very good, and his soul doted on me; upon which confidence I will tell you what happened. My Lady Rivers, a brave woman, and one that had suffered many thousand pounds loss for the King, and whom I had a great reverence for, and she a kindness for me as a kinswoman, in discourse she tacitly commended the knowledge of state affairs, and that some women were very happy in a good understanding thereof, as my Lady Aubigny, Lady Isabel Thynne, and divers others, and yet none was at first more capable than I; that in the night she knew there came a post from Paris from the Queen, and that she would be extremely glad to hear what the Queen commanded the King in order to his affairs; saying, if I would ask my husband privately, he would tell me what he found in the packet, and I might tell her. I that was young and innocent, and to that day had never in my mouth what news, began to think there was more in inquiring into public affairs than I thought of, and that it being a fashionable thing would make me more beloved of my husband, if that had been possible, than I was. When my husband returned home from Council, after welcoming him, as his custom ever was he went with his handful of papers into his study for an hour or more; I followed him; he turned hastily, and said, "What wouldst thou have, my life?" I told him, I had heard the Prince had received a packet from the Queen, and I guessed it was that in his hand, and I desired to know what was in it; he smilingly replied, "My love, I will immediately come to thee, pray thee go, for I am very busy." When he came out of his closet I revived my suit; he kissed me, and talked of other things. At supper I would eat nothing; he as usual sat by me, and drank often to me, which was his custom, and was full of discourse to company that was at table. Going to bed I asked again, and said I could not believe he loved me if he refused to tell me all he knew; but he answered nothing, but stopped my mouth with kisses. So we went to bed, I cried, and he went to sleep. Next morning early, as his custom was, he called to rise, but began to discourse with me first, to which I made no reply; he rose, came on the other side of the bed and kissed me, and drew the curtains softly and went to Court. When he came home to dinner, he presently came to me as was usual, and when I had him by the hand, I said, 'Thou dost not care to see me troubled'; to which he taking me in his arms, answered, 'My dearest soul, nothing upon earth can afflict me like that, and when you asked me of my business, it was wholly out of my power to satisfy thee, for my life and fortune shall be thine, and every thought of my heart in which the trust I am in may not be revealed, but my honour is my own, which I cannot preserve if I communicate the Prince's affairs; and pray thee with this answer rest satisfied.' So great was his reason and goodness, that upon consideration it made my folly appear to me so vile, that from that day until the day of his death I never thought fit to ask him any business but what he communicated freely to me in order to his estate or family. My husband grew much in the Prince's favour; and Mr. Long not being suffered to execute the business of his place, as the Council suspected that he held private intelligence with the Earl of Essex, which when he perceived he went into the enemy's quarters, and so to London, and then into France, full of complaints of the Prince's Council to the Queen-Mother, and when he was gone your father supplied his place.
About July this year, [1645,] the plague increased so fast in Bristol, that the Prince and all his retinue went to Barnstaple, which is one of the finest towns in England; and your father and I went two days after the Prince; for during all the time I was in the Court I never journeyed but either before him, or when he was gone, nor ever saw him but at church, for it was not in those days the fashion for honest women, except they had business, to visit a man's Court. I saw there at Mr. Palmer's, where we lay, who was a merchant, a parrot above a hundred years old. They have, near this town, a fruit called a massard, like a cherry, but different in taste, and makes the best pies with their sort of cream I ever eat. My Lady Capell here left us, and with a pass from the Earl of Essex, went to London with her eldest daughter, now Marquesse of Worcester. Sir Allan Apsley was governor of the town, and we had all sorts of good provision and accommodation; but the Prince's affairs calling him from that place, we went to Launceston, in Cornwall, and thither came very many gentlemen of that county to do their duties to his Highness: they were generally loyal to the crown and hospitable to their neighbours, but they are of a crafty and censorious nature, as most are so far from London. That country hath great plenty, especially of fish and fowl, but nothing near so fat and sweet as within forty miles of London. We were quartered at Truro, twenty miles beyond Launceston, in which place I had like to have been robbed. One night having with me but seven or eight persons, my husband being then at Launceston with his master, somebody had discovered that my husband had a little trunk of the Prince's in keeping, in which were some jewels that tempted them us to assay; but, praised be God, I defended, with the few servants I had, the house so long that help came from the town to my rescue, which was not above a flight shot from the place where I dwelt; and the next day upon my notice my husband sent me a guard by his Highness's command. From thence the Court removed to Pendennis Castle, some time commanded by Sir Nicholas Slanning, who lost his life bravely in the King's service [Footnote: He was killed at the siege of Bristol.], and left an excellent name behind him. In this place came Sir John Granville into his Highness's service, and was made a gentleman of his bedchamber. His father was a very honest gentleman, and lost his life in the King's service; and his uncle, Sir Richard, was a good commander but a little too severe. I was at Penzance with my father, and in the same town was my brother Fanshawe and his lady and children. My father and that family embarked for Morlaix, in Brittanny, with my father's new wife, which he had then married out of that family. My cousin Fanshawe, of Jenkins, and his eldest son, being with them, went also over, but being in a small vessel of that port and surprised with a great storm, they had all like to have been cast away, which forced them to land in a little creek, two leagues from Morlaix, upon the 28th of March, 1646; and five days after the Prince and all his council embarked themselves in a ship called the Phoenix, for the Isles of Scilly. They went from the Land's-end, and so did we; being accompanied with many gentlemen of that country, among whom was Sir Francis Basset, Governor of the Mount, an honest gentleman, and so were all his family; and in particular we received great civility from them. But we left our house and furniture with Captain Bluet, who promised to keep them until such a time as we could dispose of them; but when we sent, he said he had been plundered of them, notwithstanding it was well known he lost nothing of his own. At that time this loss went deep with us, for we lost to the value of 2OO pounds and more. But, as the proverb saith, an evil chance seldom comes alone: we having put all our present estate into two trunks, and carried them aboard with us in a ship commanded by Sir Nicholas Crispe, whose skill and honesty the master and seamen had no opinion of, my husband was forced to appease their mutiny which his miscarriage caused; and taking out money to pay the seamen, that night following they broke open one of our trunks, and took out a bag of 60 pounds and a quantity of gold lace, with our best clothes and linen, with all my combs, gloves, and ribbons, which amounted to near 300 pounds more. The next day, after having been pillaged, and extremely sick and big with child, I was set on shore almost dead in the island of Scilly. When we had got to our quarters near the Castle, where the Prince lay, I went immediately to bed, which was so vile, that my footman ever lay in a better, and we had but three in the whole house, which consisted of four rooms, or rather partitions, two low rooms and two little lofts, with a ladder to go up: in one of these they kept dried fish, which was his trade, and in this my husband's two clerks lay, one there was for my sister, and one for myself, and one amongst the rest of the servants. But, when I waked in the morning, I was so cold I knew not what to do, but the daylight discovered that my bed was near swimming with the sea, which the owner told us afterwards it never did so but at spring tide. With this, we were destitute of clothes,—and meat, and fuel, for half the Court to serve them a month was not to be had in the whole island; and truly we begged our daily bread of God, for we thought every meal our last. The Council sent for provisions to France, which served us, but they were bad, and a little of them. Then, after three weeks and odd days, we set sail for the Isle of Jersey, where we safely arrived, praised be God, beyond the belief of all the beholders from that island; for the pilot not knowing the way into the harbour, sailed over the rocks, but being spring tide, and by chance high water, God be praised, his Highness and all of us came safe ashore through so great a danger. Sir George Carteret was Lieutenant-Governor of the island, under my Lord St. Albans: a man formerly bred a sea-boy, and born in that island, the brother's son of Sir Philip Carteret, whose younger daughter he afterwards married. He endeavoured, with all his power, to entertain his Highness and Court with all plenty and kindness possible, both which the island afforded, and what was wanting, he sent for out of France.
There are in this island two castles, both good, but St. Mary's is best, and hath the largest reception. There are many gentlemen's houses, at which we were entertained. They have fine walks along to their doors, double elms or oaks, which is extremely pleasant, and their ordinary highways are good walks, by reason of the shadow. The whole place is grass, except some small parcels where corn is grown. The chiefest employment is knitting; they neither speak English nor good French; they are a cheerful, good-natured people, and truly subject to the present government. We quartered at a widow's house in the market-place, Madame De Pommes, a stocking merchant: here I was upon the 7th of March, [Footnote: Query, May or June. She did not arrive in Jersey until April.] 1646, delivered of my second child, a daughter, christened Anne. And now there began great disputes about the Prince, for the Queen would have him to Paris, to which end she sent many letters and messengers to his Highness and Council, who were for the most part against his going, both to the Queen his mother, and his going to France, for reasons of state, but the Queen having an excellent solicitor in the Lord Colepeper, it was resolved by his Highness to go: upon which Lord Capell, Lord Hopton, and the Chancellor staid at Jersey, and with them my husband, whose employment ceased when his master went out of his father's kingdom;—not that your father sided with either party of the Council, but having no inclination at that time to go to the Court, and because his brother, Lord Fanshawe, was desperately sick at Caen, he intended to stay some time with him. About the beginning of July, the Prince, accompanied with the Earl of Bradford, a soldier of fortune, and Lord Colepeper, and the Earl of Berkshire, and most of his servants, went to Cotanville, and from thence to Paris, where he remained some little time by his mother the Queen's council, and afterwards went into Holland. Your father and I remained fifteen days in Jersey, and resolved that he would remain with his brother in Caen, whilst he sent me into England, whither my father was gone a month before, to see if I could procure a sum of money. The beginning of August we took our leave of the governor's family, and left our child with a nurse under the care of the Lady Carteret; [Footnote: It was apparently this Lady, of whom Pepys observes, 30th June, 1662. "Told my Lady Carteret, how my Lady Fanshawe is fallen out with her only for speaking in behalf of the French: which my Lady wonders at, they having been formerly like sisters."—Diary, vol. i. p. 284.] and in four days we came to Caen, and myself, sister, and maid went from Mr. Fanborne's house, where my brother and all his family lodged, aboard a small merchantman that lay in the river; and upon the 30th of August, I arrived in the Cowes, near Southampton, to which place I went that night, and came to London two days after. This was the first time I had taken a journey without your father, and the first manage of business he ever put into my hands, in which I thank God I had good success; for, lodging in Fleet Street, at Mr. Eates, the Watchmaker, with my sister Boteler, I procured by the means of Colonel Copley, a great Parliament-man, whose wife had formerly been obliged to our family, a pass for your father to come and compound for 300 pounds which was a part of my fortune, but it was only a pretence, for your grandfather was obliged to compound for it, and deliver it us free. And when your father was come, he was very private in London; for he was in daily fears to be imprisoned before he could raise money to go back again to his master, who was not then in a condition to maintain him. Thus upon thorns he stayed the October 1647. In the October before, 1646, my brother Richard Harrison was born; and this year my sister Boteler married Sir Philip Warwick, her second husband; for her first, Sir William Boteler, was killed at Cropley-bridge, commanding a part of the King's army: he was a most gallant, worthy, honest gentleman.
The 30th of July I was delivered of a son, called Henry, in lodgings in Portugal-row, Lincoln's-inn-fields. This was a very sad time for us all of the King's party, for by the folly, to give it no worse name, of Sir John Berkeley, since Lord Berkeley, and Mr. John Ashburnham, of the King's bedchamber, who were drawn in by the cursed crew of the then standing army for the Parliament to persuade the King to leave Hampton Court, to which they had then carried him, and to make his escape, which design failing, as the plot was laid, he was tormented and afterwards barbarously and shamefully murdered, as all the world knows.
During his stay at Hampton Court, my husband was with him, to whom he was pleased to talk much of his concerns, and give him there credentials for Spain, with private instructions, and letters for his service; but God for our sins disposed his Majesty's affairs otherwise. I went three times to pay my duty to him, both as I was the daughter of his servant, and wife of his servant. The last time I ever saw him, when I took my leave, I could not refrain weeping: when he had saluted me, I prayed to God to preserve his Majesty with long life and happy years; he stroked me on the cheek, and said, 'Child, if God pleaseth, it shall be so, but both you and I must submit to God's will, and you know in what hands I am'; then turning to your father, he said, 'Be sure, Dick, to tell my son all that I have said, and deliver those letters to my wife; pray God bless her! I hope I shall do well'; and taking him in his arms, said, 'Thou hast ever been an honest man, and I hope God will bless thee, and make thee a happy servant to my son, whom I have charged in my letter to continue his love, and trust to you'; adding, 'I do promise you that if ever I am restored to my dignity I will bountifully reward you both for your service and sufferings.' Thus did we part from that glorious sun, that within a few months after was murdered, to the grief of all Christians that were not forsaken by God.
The October, as I told you, my husband and I went into France, by the way of Portsmouth, where, walking by the sea side about a mile from our lodgings, two ships of the Dutch, then in war with England, shot bullets at us so near that we heard them whiz by us; at which I called to my husband to make haste back, and began to run, but he altered not his pace, saying, 'If we must be killed, it were as good to be killed walking as running.' But, escaping, we embarked the next day; and that journey fetched home our girl we had left in Jersey; and my husband was forced to come out of France to Hamerton, in Huntingdonshire, to my sister Bedell's, to the wedding of his nephew, the last Lord Thomas Fanshawe, who then married the daughter of Ferrers: as I have said before, she was a very great fortune, and a most excellent woman, and brought up some time after her mother's death with my sister Bedell.
About two months after this, in June, I was delivered of a son on the 8th day, 1648. The latter end of July I went to London, leaving my little boy Richard at nurse with his brother at Hartingfordbury. It happened to be the very day after that the Lord Holland was taken prisoner at St. Neot, and Lord Francis Villiers was killed; and as we passed through the town, we saw Colonel Montague, afterwards Earl of Sandwich, spoiling the town for the Parliament and himself. Coming to London, I went to welcome the Marchioness of Ormond to town, that then was come out of France, who received me with great kindness, as she ever had done before, and told me she must love me for many reasons, and one was, that we were both born in one chamber: when I left her, she presented me with a ruby ring set with two diamonds, which she prayed me to wear for her sake, and I have it to this day.
In the month of September my husband was commanded by the Prince to wait on him in the Downs, where he was with a very considerable fleet; but the fleet was divided, part being for the King, and part for the Parliament. They were resolved to fight that day, which if they had, would have been the most cruel fight that ever England knew; but God by his will parted them by a storm, and afterwards it was said, Lord Colepeper, and one Low, a surgeon, that was a reputed knave, so ordered the business, that for money the fleet was betrayed to the enemy. During this time my husband wrote me a letter, from on board the Prince's ship, full of concern for me, believing they should engage on great odds; but, if he should lose his life, advised me to patience, and this with so much love and reason, that my heart melts to this day when I think of it; but, God be praised, he was reserved for better things.
In December [Footnote: This must be a mistake for NOVEMBER; for in September he was on board the fleet in the Downs, and after passing SIX WEEKS IN PARIS, he went to Calais with Lady Fanshawe on the 25th of DECEMBER, 1649. The date of the year is also erroneous, as it is evident from the context that it was 1648.] my husband went to Paris on his master's business, and sent for me from London: I carried him 300 pounds of his money. During our stay at Paris, I was highly obliged to the Queen-Mother of England. We passed away six weeks with great delight in good company; my Lady Norton, that was governess to the Lady Henrietta, Charles the First's youngest daughter, was very kind. I had the honour of her company, both in my own lodging and in the Palace Royal, where she attended her charge; likewise my Lady Danby, and her daughter, my Lady Guilford, with many others of our nation, both in the Court and out of it; amongst whom was Mr. Waller, the poet, and his wife: they went with us to Calais, upon the 25th of December, 1649. I, with my husband, kissed the Queen-Mother's hand, who promised her favour, with much grace, to us both, and sent letters to the King, then in Holland, by my husband. From her Majesty we waited on the Princes, and afterwards took our leave of all that Court.