Mr. Howard rallied, and seemed to regain his usual firmness; he turned to Charles,—“Send immediately to Richmond,” he said, “for Dr. B——, and let the coachman get ready to ride to London, I will give him a note. Leila, my own heroic child, I must leave you a moment with Nurse.”
The poor woman and Amy were already in the room, both sobbing bitterly; but upon Mr. Howard speaking aside to Nurse, and telling her of the necessity there was for self-command for Leila’s sake, she made a wonderful effort for composure, and seating herself on the couch, she took Leila in her arms, and laid her head gently upon her shoulder, as she used to do when she was a little child. Amy stood by her side, her hands clasped together, and with an expression of the deepest woe, while tears still ran silently down her cheeks.
Leila was now quite composed. They heard her whisper, “The worst is over now, my papa knows it all;” and she pressed Nurse’s hand repeatedly, and said she felt better, then drawing Amy towards her, she whispered very low in her ear,—“You will be a good girl, Amy, and not cry, and you will be a great comfort to me—you will lead me every where.”
Charles had himself gone off to Richmond on Leila’s pony, but returned unsuccessful; both Dr. B.—— and another to whom he applied were from home. The agony of suspense to all was very great; and though Charles strove hard to restrain his emotion, the tones of his voice betrayed his feelings to Leila every time he tried to address her.
Mr. Howard spoke to him aside—he thought it better he should return home. It was a great trial to him, but he instantly obeyed, and stole out of the room without even a word of adieu, he felt that all additional agitation must be carefully avoided.
As he went out Leila raised her head and listened. “Some one has left the room,” she said, “it must be Charles. Where has he gone to?”
Mr. Howard explained that he had returned home, he thought it better he should do so.
“Ah, papa, I know why: it is because I agitate myself so much. I know it is very wrong, and I will try to be quite calm, and to comfort you more, papa; but I cannot always do it, though sometimes for a moment it seems quite easy, and I only feel that God has done it for my good, and has sent me this great trial because he loves me and wishes to make me better, and that perhaps he has shut my eyes on the world that I may think more of my beautiful home in heaven; for, papa, do you not know how much I had begun to love the world; the love of it was creeping into me, and you did not know it; ever since we came into it I have loved it every day more and more—the people, the flowers, this house, every thing. Yes, I have loved the world better than the island, where I thought so much more of God. And I used to like so much to hear Bill and Susan call me their little mistress,—all this was very wrong, and I dare say this is why God has shut it all out, the trees, the green fields, the beautiful flowing river, and even your face, my own papa—and for ever!—oh, that is the part I cannot bear.”
“Hush, my child, my own Leila;—do not say there is any thing you cannot bear. He who has sent the trial will give you strength. Remember, we are told, that ‘If we endure chastening, God dealeth with us as with sons, for what son is he whom the Father chasteneth not?’—and though for the present it is very grievous to you, He will, when His own righteous purposes have been fulfilled, bring to your heart that sweet peace ‘which the world cannot know;’—but, my child, you are exciting yourself in talking too much, and I am most anxious that you should keep very quiet now, and try to get a little sleep.”
“Well, papa, I will. Do you remember that day, papa, when you said to me, ‘Leila, remember, duties are ours, but events are in the hands of God?’ I am glad I have thought of this now, for it comforts me—it tells me it is my duty to be patient and to trust it all to God—now I will try to sleep.”