Afore this I'd been on a cyphering voyage through my purse to see if I couldn't afford to go down to Lynde & Jennings' and bye a new narrow collar'd coat and some other dandy consarns, seeing I was a going to dine with a Lord; but when this letter cum I detarmined to go in the old fix up, jest to let this Lord and my pussy cousin see a ginuine Yankee that wasn't ashamed of hisself in a homespun coat and trousers.
Howsomever I gin myself a purty good sudsing, and shaved as close as a Wall street broker; besides I did some extra fixing to my collar and hair, and paired off my finger-nails harnsomely, and scrubbed the yaller from off my teeth with the corner of a brown towel that I found in my saddle-bags; for there aint no reason that I know on, why a true born American shouldn't wash up and keep a clean face and a stiff upper lip, if he does weed his own onions and wear a humspun coat. A chap may live in a land of Liberty and let these lords know it tu, without swellin like a toad to outshine the British, or going slouching about as if we put a tax on soap and water, jest as they do on winder glass.
For my part, I didn't mean to let Lord Morpeth think that we give so much soft soap here in York without keeping enough to wash our own faces on thanksgiving day.
When I was fixed up about tu the right noch, down stairs I went, with the eend of my checkered silk neck-hankercher a tucked under my streaked vest, my hair slicked down on both sides, my face a shining like a new pin, and my boots blacked up till they glistened like a gal's eye.
I tucked up my yaller silk hankercher clear into my coat pocket, for I didn't feel like showing all out to once, and I put my new mittens on sort a careless, and streaked the blue and red fringe up as I went down the Astor House steps through a double row of dandies that had swarmed out of the stun hall above to see my pussey cousin's carriage and horses that stood a glistening jest afore the house.
There the carriage stood right in Broadway, about the dashingest consarn that ever I sot eyes on. The wheels were a good ways apart and black as a minister's coat, and a great harnsome box swung over 'em, shut up tight, and a glistening in the sun till it a'most blinded a feller's eye-sight to look on it. There was a door on each side as big as them in the pulpit of our meeting house, with a whopping square of glass in the top and bottom all figgered off with gold, and then crouchonts, and lions, and roosters all pictered out in gold tu, and looking as nat'ral as life, for all they were so yaller and jammed down in a heap till it seemed as if the lions would roar right out, and the rooster give a coo-co-doo-dle-do if any body went tu tuch them.
Behind the hull consarn, was a great wide flat stair, with two pussy fellers a standing on it,—each on 'em holding to a yaller tossel fixed tight to the coach and dressed out like folks in the theatre, with great high boots, and topped off with a wide rim of white, wide white cuffs to their coats, and white ribbons and beaus twisted round their hats.
Right in front was a seat with a great square cushion on it, and all hung off with the finest kind of boughten cloth and piles of heavy yaller fringe, with the golden lions, and crouchants, and roosters pictered out and a glistening among the folds, till it a'most outshined the sun—and that was purty bright for November.
A tall feller dressed out like the chaps behind, sot on this heap of gimcracks with a great long whip stuck up by his elbow, and a holding in two tremendous harnsome black horses that stood hitched to the carriage, under a hull net of black shiney leather, golden buckles, and deers' heads cut out in chunks of gold, and sot on to the blinder, and saddle-trees, and every place an inch square that they could be poked in.
If there is a critter on arth that I take tu, it's a good horse, and I couldn't help but be proud of them smashing arnimals as they shook their heads up so sarsy, as if the sun hadn't no business in their great eyes that had fire enough in 'em without its help, and pawed on the ground with their fore-feet—the mettlesome varmints!—like a couple of harnsome women, chuck full of music and crazy to dance it off.