With that I sot down by the table—crossed one leg a top of t'other and wiped my nose. Miss Sneers, she leaned her arm on my chair and the rest sot down.
"Wal, what shall we play?" sez the chap in checkered trousers.
"Oh, high-low-jack and the game—Mr. Slick understands that"—sez the rest, sort a larfin. I begun to rile a trifle—"I guess Mr. Slick knows a thing or two besides that," sez I; "he wasn't born in the woods tu be skared at owls!" sez I.
They all choked in at that—one feller shuffled the cards, I cut, and the checkered trousers took the deal. I got an allfired good hand the first dive—ace, jack and the two spot of trumps, besides a ten. Miss Sneers she bent over until I could feel her breath agin my cheek, as warm and sweat as the steam from an apple-sarse cag when the sarse is sot off to cool. I swow, it made me feel so kinder unsettled, that the cards danced afore my eyes, like picters run crazy. We begun to play. Miss Sneers kept a pokin that pesky little finger of hern amongst my cards every minute, puttin out them that I ought to play, one by one—and afore I knew it myself, I'd beat the hull biling on 'em three games without stoppin. Miss Sneers she seemed to be eenamost tickled to death to think I'd done 'em up so slick, and the men they looked streaked enough. I tell you—that one in the checkered trousers above all. Jest as we was cuttin in for a new deal, the doors right afore me slid back inter the wall, and there was another room spread out afore us like a picter. It was as light as day from one eend of the room tu t'other—and it was enough to dazzle one's eyes to see the shiney silk tumblin down from the golden poles over the winders—the great whoppin lookin glasses a blazin all over that eend of the room—the carpet kivered over and trod down with posies—the picters agin the walls and leetle marble babies a standing round, with the candle light a pourin down over 'em. Oh, Gosh! it was enough to make a feller loose his breath, and never ketch it agin. There, right in the midst of the room, was a table a shinin and a glistenin, like a heap of ice-chunks and new half dollars piled up together in the hot sun. The plates and the knives and forks spoons and all, was solid silver—everything else was silver but the glasses, and they were all pinted and pictered off, and cut down in lines, till there was nothing but flash, flash, flash, wherever the light fell, and that was strong enough; for right overhead was another of them great gold spangles branching out every which way, and runnin over with fire.
Miss Sneers she put her hand on my arm, jest so as tu let the tip eend of her leetle finger lie agin my wrist. I swore it made the blood tingle up my arm. We went intu the room with the rest a follerin arter, Indian file. A great strappin nigger stood at each side of the door-place, when we went, with white gloves on, and towels in their hands—they bowed a'most tu the carpet as we went by, and when we sot down, then they stood right up on eend behind our chairs, like militia trainers jist tryin tu drill. They lifted up the kivers from a lot of dishes, and up riz the steam among the glasses and silver, till it seemed as if they hung in a cloud. Oh gracious, I can't begin to tell you all that them dishes had in 'em. There was leetle teinty tonty birds cooked hull, claws and all—partridges with their stomachs stuffed till they looked as pussey as cousin Jasin—squirrels a lyin there like human babies jest baked over a trifle, and all sorts of wild varmints that a feller ever thought of killin.
The niggers they dodged about, fillin plates and a handin 'em round like lightnin. They gin Miss Sneers and I each on us a leetle bird—darn me if I know what it was, without it was a woodpecker stewed hull. It raly seemed tu be a shame tu stick a fork intu the teinty varmint. I kinder diddled my knife and fork about, till Miss Sneers got purty intimate with her bird, for I wanted tu see if it was the fashion tu swaller 'em down in'ards and all. She'd used her little chap purty well up, when I sot my jaws a workin in arnest. The bird went down my throat the quickest. It was awful sweet tastin; and the leg bones scratched a trifle as they went down, but nothin tu speak on.
Wal, we laid into the squirrels and other wild critters rather hard, till I begun tu feel a dry. There was a leetle bottle of water stood agin each plate. I poured some out of mine, and was a goin tu drink, but Miss Sneers, she laid her hand on the glass, and sez she—
"Mr. Slick, let me help you tu wine?"
"Not as you know on," sez I, a bowin, and a takin the tumbler from under her hand—"I'm a teetotaler, marm, tu the back bone!"