A young lady, with her hair twisted all up with little white flowers, balanced up tu me, jest as you've seen a bird walk, and then it come my turn. I took two steps for'ard and then I cut a peeler of a pigeon-wing, and ended off with a little touch of the double shuffle, but my trousers was so plaguy tight that I couldn't make my legs rale limber all I could du, besides, the music warn't much more like a dancing tune than Greenbank or Old Hundred. At last I went up tu the gal that was playing, and sez I—
"Look a here—jest give us something lively—Yankee Doodle, or Money Muss, or the Irish Washerwoman, or Paddy Carey. I aint a going tu twist and pucker round in this way."
With that the young fellers with the hair lips begun tu push their cambric hankerchers into their mouths, and the young gals puckered up their mouths as if I'd done something tu poke fun at. But instid of sneaking off and letting the stuck up varmints think they'd scared me so I darsn't dance, I felt my dander a getting up, and sez I tu myself, "I guess I'll let 'em see that I warn't brought up in the woods to be scared at owls, any how;" so I jest turned tu the black eyed gal that was my partner, and sez I,
"Cum now, Miss, let us show 'em how it's done," and with that I begun tu put it down right and left like a streak of lightning. It warn't more than two minits afore I heard the gals a talking tu each other, and a saying,
"How odd—how strange—quite the eccentricity of genius—these literary lions never do anything as other people do!—I don't wonder Miss Beebe's proud of him."
The young fellers joined in and stopped larfin as quick as could be, the minit they begun to see how the wind was a blowing up in my quarter, and when I finished off and led the black eyed gal tu one of the footstools, there was no eend tu the soft sodder they all put on tu me. Sez I tu myself, nothing like keeping a stiff upper lip with these stuck up fashionables, for arter all they aint more than half sartin what's genteel and what aint.
Jest then the music begun agin, and one of them tall hairy lipped fellers got up with a purty little gal, that didn't look more than eighteen years old, and he put his white gloves on a little tighter, and then I'll be darned if he didn't begin to hug her right there afore all on us. He put one arm round her little waist jest above the hump on her back, and he took one of her hands in his'n, and then she looked up into his eyes and he looked down into hers as loving as two pussy cats, and then they begun to make cheeses on the carpet till you couldn't have told which was which.
I never felt my blood bile so in all my life; it raly didn't seem decent, and if she had been a relation of mine, I'll be darned to darnation if I wouldn't have knocked that pesky varmint into a cocked hat in less than no time. I'd a made him glad to eat himself up hair and all, greasy as it must a tasted, tu have got out of my way. Oh! but I was wrathy with the coot for a minit; and then says I to myself, "I don't know as the chap's so much to blame, arter all, it's the gal's own fault; if she likes to be hugged and whirled round so afore the folks, the feller must be an allfired fool not to like it as much she does; but, thinks I, if the gal means to git married, her bread will be all dough agin, arter this, for no decent honest man would want to marry a gal arter he'd seen her tousled about afore fifty people, by such a shote as that chap is."
As soon as the two critters sot down, the fellers and the gals all locked arms and begun to stream out of the room. I thought I might as well see where they were a going, so I jest crooked my arm, and the black eyed gal put hers through it, and out we went into the entry way tu a room further back, where all the company was standing about round a table sot out with everything good on arth that a feller ever thought of eating.
I thought the table, when I eat dinner at cousin John's, took the shine off from everything that I'd ever seen afore in my life, but it warn't a circumstance to this. There was no eend to the silver dishes and baskets all sot out with flowers, and a running over with bunches of white grapes and oranges, and everything else good that ever grew on arth! and there were more than half a dozen little steeples, all made out of red and white sugar candy, hung over with flowers and curlecued about with little sugar images, and sich lots of cake, and presarves, and jelly, and things that I'd never seen afore in my life. Everything glittered and shone so it fairly took away my appetite. There was another little table kivered over with decanters and with a lot of them cider bottles that I've told you about, standing on it; but I kept purty clear of that, I can tell you. Cousin Beebe cum to me with one of 'em in his hand, and sez he, sort of larfin,