"What else?" says I. "You didn't think I expected this great, big, low-roofed market to have paws and growl, did you," says I. "I would growl if the city were to set me down in the mud of this pestiferous place. So you thought I really meant it. Well, the easy way in which some men are taken in is astonishing. They never can understand metaphor," says I. "But the bivalves and Rockaways. What of them?" says I.
"Swallowed them," says he. Sisters, the dizziness in my stomach was awful.
XXXIII.
DEMPSTER PROPOSES A TRIP.
DEAR SISTERS:—I have been in Washington. The great city of a great nation. I have seen the Capitol in all its splendid magnificence, its pictures, its marbled floor, its fruit tables, and its underground eating-rooms. I have seen the White House, and have had a bird's-eye view of the President of these United States.
I will tell you how it happened. I was getting anxious and down in the mouth; my valentine had been given to the winds of heaven—no, they would have carried it safely through ten thousand herds of buffalo cattle—but it had been given to the mails, and they are so uncertain, spell the word which way you will. Day after day I waited and watched, and sent down to the post-office to be sure there was no mistake in that department; but nothing came of it; no answer reached me. I became peaked and down-hearted, so much so, dear sisters, that Cousin Dempster got anxious about me, and one day asked me, in the kindest manner, if I would like to run on to Washington with him.
"Run on to Washington," says I; "how far is it, cousin?"
"Why," says he, "about two hundred and thirty miles, I should say."
"Two hundred and thirty miles," says I, almost screaming. "Why, Cousin D., I couldn't do it to save my life."