“It would indeed,” said the old man, looking fondly in my face. “God help us—this is a bad business! At any rate, leave us now!”
The young man turned, bent his head, and wheeling his hunter, disappeared.
CHAPTER XXXII.
THE UNWELCOME VISITOR.
I spent a wakeful night, disturbed by a host of new feelings and strange thoughts, that crowded upon me like a rush of waters. All night long a review of the day’s hunt went forward in my fancy. The brilliant dresses and those strange faces circled me with a sort of fascination. Sometimes they smiled warningly, then they gibed at my torn garments—and foremost of all was the proud face of Lady Catherine. Oh, how I began to hate that woman! It was the bitter antagonism of a life-time striking root deep in my heart.
Toward morning I thought of Turner, with a pang that was punishment enough for the sin of my first disobedience. I knew that he was not only grieved but plunged into difficulties on my account—that all the evils he had been so anxious to guard against were already brought on by my obstinate self-indulgence.
This reflection made me heart-sick, and I turned away from the soft daylight as it broke through my room, ashamed to receive it on my ungrateful face. With faltering steps I went down stairs and seated myself in the little breakfast-room. Turner was in the garden, but though I had not the cowardice to shrink from encountering him in the house, I could not summon courage to seek him.
He saw me at the window looking sad enough, I dare say, and, coming up, gave me a handful of tiny white roses, which were the glory of a plant that he had never allowed to be touched before. I felt the tears rushing to my eyes, and creeping toward the old man, murmured in the deepest humility,
“Oh, Mr. Turner, why don’t you scold me? Why not punish my wickedness?”
“Because,” he answered, with a miserable shake of the head, “because you will be punished enough, poor thing, before night, or I am mistaken.”
“I hope so—I’m sure it would be a satisfaction to be soundly reprimanded. You break my heart with all this kindness.”