“I thought you would forgive me,” murmured he, looking down upon her, as the miser eyes the gold that has slipped from his paralyzed hand. “Him whom the hard-hearted sinner and the hypocrite despise, God’s dearest lambs regard with mercy. I learned to revere God before I knew you, Paula, but I learned to love Him in the light of your gentleness and your trust. Rise up now and let me wipe away your tears—my daughter.”
She sprang up as if stung. “No, no,” she cried, “not that; I cannot bear that yet. I must think, I must know what all this means,” and she laid her hand upon her heart. “God surely does not give so much love for one’s undoing; if I were not destined to comfort a life so saddened, He would have bequeathed me more pity and less—” The lifted head fell, the word she would have uttered, stirred her bosom, but not her lips.
It was a trial to his strength, but his firm man’s heart did not waver. “You do comfort me,” said he; “from early morning to late night your presence is my healing and my help, and will always be so, whatever may befal. A daughter can do much, my Paula.”
She took a step back towards the door, her eyes, dark with unfathomable impulses, flashing on him through the tears that hung thickly on her lashes.
“Is it for your own sake or for mine, that you make use of that word?” said she.
He summoned up his courage, met that searching glance with all its wild, bewildering beauty, and responded, “Can you ask, Paula?”
With a lift of her head that gave an almost queenly stateliness to her form, she advanced a step, and drawing a crumpled paper from her pocket, said, “When I went to my room last night, it was to read two letters, one from yourself, and one from Mr. Ensign. This is his, and a manly and noble letter it is too; but hearts have right to hearts, and I was obliged to refuse his petition.” And with a reverent but inexorable hand, she dropped the letter on the burning coals of the grate at their side, and softly turned to leave the room.
“Paula!” With a bound the stern and hitherto forcibly repressed man, leaped to her side. “My darling! my life!” and with a wild, uncontrollable impulse, he caught her for one breathless moment to his heart; then as suddenly released her, and laying his hand in reverence on her brow, said softly, “Now go and pray, little one; and when you are quite calm, an hour hence or a week hence whichever it may be, come and tell me my fate as God and the angels reveal it to you.” And he smiled, and she saw his smile, and went out of the room softly, as one who treadeth upon holy ground.
Mr. Sylvester was considered by his friends and admirers as a proud man. If a vote had been cast among those who knew him best, as from what especial passion common to humanity he would soonest recoil, it would have been unanimously pronounced shame, and his own hand would have emphasized the judgment of his fellows. But shame which is open to the gaze of the whole world, differs from that which is sacred to the eyes of one human being, and that the one who lies nearest the heart.
As Paula’s retreating footsteps died away on the stairs, and he awoke to the full consciousness that his secret was shared by her whose love was his life, and whose good opinion had been his incentive and his pride, his first sensation was one of unmitigated anguish, but his next, strange to say, that of a restful relief. He had cast aside the cloak he had hugged so closely to his breast these many years, and displayed to her shrinking gaze the fox that was gnawing at his vitals; and Spartan though he was, the dew that had filled her loving eyes was balm to him. And not only that; he had won claim to the title of true man. Her regard, if regard it remained, was no longer an airy fabric built upon a plausible seeming, but a firm structure with knowledge for its foundation. “I shall not live to whisper, ‘If she knew my whole life, would she love me so well?’”