I just sat next to his stretcher and held his left hand with my right hand. I softly stroked his shoulder. This intimate hand-in-hand gesture only expressed a small part of the instant connectedness that we were co-experiencing, each alone, each with the other, all at once.
I sat there for more than thirty minutes telling Jason repeatedly to rest, trust God to help him, have strength, courage, and hope.
Having come together, Jason and I, through the darkness of anesthetized sleep to the harsh reality of "wakefulness," we both move on with our lives.
I asked the surgeon of Jason several times, but he couldn't remember Jason.
I will never forget Jason. Jason brought me closer to understanding honesty as caring (Little, 1992).
An explicit realization of nursing as a personal expression of caring can fuel a commitment to growing in caring throughout life. A vivid, articulated sense of self connects with an equally strong and explicit sense of nursing, and a personal commitment to caring in and through nursing is created. Research makes the unequivocal point that those who seek our nursing service identify caring as the sine qua non of nursing [Samaral], 1988; Winland-Brown & Schoenhofer, 1992). Entering these covenantal relationships obligates us to mutually live and grow in caring. What has also become apparent through our practice is that it is increasingly difficult for nurses to conceptualize their service as caring. Many nurses have lost faith in themselves as persons contributing caring in health service delivery situations. Thus, the raison d'être for the professional service career of nursing is lost, and nurses become disheartened.
It is our experience, as illustrated in the previous story, Honesty, that nurses can recapture the spirit of nursing, can rekindle hope for themselves as persons caring through and in nursing. The reader is invited to pause a moment and experience a sense of self as person expressing caring in nursing. You are invited to enter a quiet, contemplative inner space. Allow the attentions and distractions of the moment to recede as you create quietude. Now, bring to life the most beautiful nursing you have ever done. Recall that precious instance that stands out for you as truly nursing. Savor the fullness of that experience. Explore the meaning of this wonderful experience of nursing.
If possible, pause now and tell the story of your finest nursing moment—aloud to another nurse, or in writing to the nurse you are today. Share your story and invite other nurses to share theirs with you.
Now that the moment has been reborn and communicated, it is available as a powerful resource for you. The essence of nursing which connects you to all others in nursing is also to be found here. In that story resides the central meaning of nursing, available now for your inspiration and for your study.
For many nurses, the practice of nursing as caring will require changes in the conceptualization of nursing and nursing practice structures. Certain ideologies and cognitive frameworks that have gained prominence in nursing in the recent past are not fully congruent with the values expressed in the Nursing as Caring theory.