About this Time, my Father’s Trade had a short but surprising Impetus, which, as he said to my Mother, “was but the Flaring up of a Candle in the Socket, just before it goes out.” Cropped Heads and long Curls being now the Signs of different Parties, and the Round-heads having the uppermost, numerous Persons that had hitherto been vain enough of their long and graceful Tresses, which brought no small Gain to the Hairdressers, were now anxious to be shorn as close as French Poodles, for Fear of getting into Scrapes with the reigning Power. And as, like the Sheep after Shearing, they left their Fleeces behind them, which were in many Cases exceeding valuable, my Father and Mark were busied from Morning to Night, in washing, baking, and weaving beautiful Sets of Hair, which were carefully reserved for future Occasion.
“For you will see,” quoth my Father, “there will sooner or later be a Reaction; I may not live to see it, but you Youngsters will; People will be tired of Puritanism and Rebellion some of these Days, and then the old State of Things will come back; and the Croppies will be as ashamed of their Stubble Heads as the Cavaliers are of their Love-locks now; and, as Hair won’t grow as fast as green Peas, they will then be constrained to wear Wigs, and then will come a rare Time for the Barbers!” Every Word of which, like so many other of his Prophesyings and Presages, in due Season proved strictly true!
Meantime, though this Fury for cropping filled the Till as long as there was any long Hair to cut off, yet, this being presently done, a great Stagnation of Business ensued; for, whereas the curled Locks had required constant curling, brushing, and trimming, the round Heads were easily kept short, and brought only Pence where the others had brought Shillings. My Father kept his Hair long to the last; and, to express his Opinion of the Times so as e’en they who ran might read, he set up two waxen Effigies in his Window, not merely Heads, but half Lengths; the one representing an exceeding comely and handsome young Man, (very much like my Cousin Mark,) with long, fair Tresses most beautifully crimped, falling over his Vandyke Collar and black Velvet Coat: the other, with as red a Nose as old Noll, close cropped, so as to show his large Ears sticking out on each Side. And to make the Satire more pungent, the Round-head made as though pointing to the Cavalier, with a small Label superscribed, “See what I was!”—and the Cavalier, with a Look of silent Disgust, was signing at the Round-head and saying, “See what I shall be!”
This Comicality, which had cost my Father and Mark sundry Hours of evening Labour,—(I had made the Dresses,) drew Crowds of People to the Window, so as even to obstruct the Passage along the Bridge; and excited Peals of ironical Laughter; till, at length, Mirth proceeding to Mischief, Blows began to ensue among those who favoured opposite Sides. Then the Bridgewardens came with Constables and Weapons to quell the Disturbance, and an idle Fellow was set in the Cage, and another, with long Hair, put in the Stocks; and one or two of our Panes of Glass were broken; so that what began in Sport ended much too seriously; and my Father, finding he must yield to the Times, changed the Cavalier’s Placard into “See what you had better be,” and finally removed it altogether, saying he was nauseated with time-serving. But he persisted in wearing his own long Hair, come what would; which drew from the Reverend Master Blower that Similitude about the Trojan Horse, who, I suppose, persisted in wearing his Mane and long Tail after they had become Types of a Party. And when my Father was called in question for it by one of the Bridgewardens, and asked why he persevered in troubling Israel, he with his usual Spirit retorted upon him with, “How can a Tonsor be expected to hold with a Party that puts Pence into his Till instead of Shillings?” Whereupon the Bridgewarden called him a self-interested Demas, and said no more to him.
Hugh Braidfoot upheld him through thick and thin, laughing all the while; though he kept his own bushy Head as short as a Blacking-brush. Indeed, this Man, though the Essence of Mirth and Good-humour, strongly built, and six Foot high, had not a Quarter of my Father’s Valour.
As for Master Blower, he made a wry Face on it, saying that Magnasheh Miksheh (which I afterwards heard was Hebrew for well-set Hair) was now of no Account.
—One Evening,—I have good Reason to remember it,—the Days being sultry and at their longest,—we made a Pleasure-party to Greenwich, and took Water below the Bridge. Coming back just as the Moon was rising, a Boat-full of uproarious and half-intoxicated young Men fell foul of us and upset us. I shall never forget my Sensations as I went into the Water!—The next Minute, I was half out of it again, and found Mark’s Arm close round me, while with the other he struck out, and presently brought me ashore. My dear Father also rescued my Mother; and Hugh Braidfoot’s long Legs helped him more in wading out like a Heron, I think, than his Arms in swimming, for he, too, presently came aland, covered with Mud. My Mother and I cried, and felt very grateful to Mark, who stood panting and colouring, and looking very much pleased with himself; and presently we were all in another Boat on our Way to the Bridge Stairs, drenched, quiet, and thankful for our providential Escape.... I, especially, feeling, oh! how happy!—Yet, in after Days, there was a Time when I was ready to wish Mark had left me in the River—.
