Monday.
Mother hath returned! The Moment I hearde her Voice I fell to trembling. At the same Moment I hearde Robin cry, "Oh, Mother, I have broken the greene Beaker!" which betraied Apprehension in another Quarter. However, she quite mildlie replied, "Ah, I knew the Handle was loose," and then kist me with soe great Affection that I felt quite easie. She had beene withhelde by a troublesome Colde from returning at the appointed Time, and cared not to write. 'Twas just Supper-time, and there were the Children to kiss and to give theire Bread and Milk, and Bill's Letter to reade; soe that nothing particular was sayd till the younger Ones were gone to Bed, and Father and Mother were taking some Wine and Toast. Then says Father, "Well, Wife, have you got the five hundred Pounds?" "No," she answers, rather carelesslie. "I tolde you how 'twoulde be," says Father; "you mighte as well have stayed at Home." "Really, Mr. Powell," says Mother, "soe seldom as I stir from my owne Chimney-corner, you neede not to grudge me, I think, a few Dayes among our mutuall Relatives." "I shall goe to Gaol," says Father. "Nonsense," says Mother; "to Gaol indeed!" "Well, then, who is to keepe me from it?" says Father, laughing. "I will answer for it, Mr. Milton will wait a little longer for his Money," says Mother, "he is an honourable Man, I suppose." "I wish he may thinke me one," says Father; "and as to a little longer, what is the goode of waiting for what is as unlikelie to come eventuallie as now?" "You must answer that for yourselfe," says Mother, looking wearie: "I have done what I can, and can doe no more." "Well, then, 'tis lucky Matters stand as they do," says Father. "Mr. Milton has been much here in your Absence, my Dear, and has taken a Liking to our Moll; soe, believing him, as you say, to be an honourable Man, I have promised he shall have her." "Nonsense," cries Mother, turning red and then pale. "Never farther from Nonsense," says Father, "for 'tis to be, and by the Ende of the Month too." "You are bantering me, Mr. Powell," says Mother. "How can you suppose soe, my Deare?" says Father, "you doe me Injustice." "Why, Moll!" cries Mother, turning sharplie towards me, as I sate mute and fearfulle, "what is alle this, Child? You cannot, you dare not think of wedding this round-headed Puritan." "Not round-headed," sayd I, trembling; "his Haire is as long and curled as mine." "Don't bandy Words with me, Girl," says Mother passionatelie, "see how unfit you are to have a House of your owne, who cannot be left in Charge of your Father's for a Fortnighte, without falling into Mischiefe!" "I won't have Moll chidden in that Way," says Father, "she has fallen into noe Mischiefe, and has beene a discreete and dutifull Child." "Then it has beene alle your doing," says Mother, "and you have forced the Child into this Match." "Noe Forcing whatever," says Father, "they like one another, and I am very glad of it, for it happens to be very convenient." "Convenient, indeed," repeats Mother, and falls a weeping. Thereon I must needs weepe too, but she says, "Begone to Bed; there is noe Neede that you shoulde sit by to heare your owne Father confesse what a Fool he has beene."
To my Bedroom I have come, but cannot yet seek my Bed; the more as I still heare theire Voices in Contention below.
Tuesday.
This Morninge's Breakfaste was moste uncomfortable, I feeling like a checkt Child, scarce minding to looke up or to eat. Mother, with Eyes red and swollen, scarce speaking save to the Children; Father directing his Discourse chieflie to Dick, concerning Farm Matters and the Rangership of Shotover, tho' 'twas easie to see his Mind was not with them. Soe soone as alle had dispersed to theire customed Taskes, and I was loitering at the Window, Father calls aloud to me from his Studdy. Thither I go, and find him and Mother, she sitting with her Back to both. "Moll," says Father, with great Determination, "you have accepted Mr. Milton to please yourself, you will marry him out of hand to please me." "Spare me, spare me, Mr. Powell," interrupts Mother, "if the Engagement may not be broken off, at the least precipitate it not with this indecent haste. Postpone it till——" "Till when?" says Father. "Till the Child is olde enough to know her owne Mind." "That is, to put off an honourable Man on false Pretences," says Father, "she is olde enough to know it alreadie. Speake, Moll, are you of your Mother's Mind to give up Mr. Milton altogether?" I trembled, but sayd, "No." "Then, as his Time is precious, and he knows not when he may leave his Home agayn, I save you the Trouble, Child, of naming a Day, for it shall be the Monday before Whitsuntide." Thereat Mother gave a Kind of Groan; but as for me, I had like to have fallen on the Ground, for I had had noe Thought of suche Haste. "See what you are doing, Mr. Powell," says Mother, compassionating me, and raising me up, though somewhat roughlie; "I prophecie Evil of this Match." "Prophets of Evil are sure to find Listeners," says Father, "but I am not one of them;" and soe left the Room. Thereon my Mother, who alwaies feares him when he has a Fit of Determination, loosed the Bounds of her Passion, and chid me so unkindlie, that, humbled and mortified, I was glad to seeke my Chamber.
. . . Entering the Dining-room, however, I uttered a Shriek on seeing Father fallen back in his Chair, as though in a Fit, like unto that which terrified us a Year ago; and Mother hearing me call out, ran in, loosed his Collar, and soone broughte him to himselfe, tho' not without much Alarm to alle. He made light of it himselfe, and sayd 'twas merelie a suddain Rush of Blood to the Head, and woulde not be dissuaded from going out; but Mother was playnly smote at the Heart, and having lookt after him with some anxietie, exclaimed, "I shall neither meddle nor make more in this Businesse: your Father's suddain Seizures shall never be layd at my Doore;" and soe left me, till we met at Dinner. After the Cloth was drawne, enters Mr. Milton, who goes up to Mother, and with Gracefulnesse kisses her Hand; but she withdrewe it pettishly, and tooke up her Sewing, on the which he lookt at her wonderingly, and then at me; then at her agayne, as though he woulde reade her whole Character in her Face; which having seemed to doe, and to write the same in some private Page of his Heart, he never troubled her or himself with further Comment, but tooke up Matters just where he had left them last. Ere we parted we had some private Conference touching our Marriage, for hastening which he had soe much to say that I coulde not long contend with him, especiallie as I founde he had plainlie made out that Mother loved him not.
Wednesday.
House full of Companie, leaving noe Time to write nor think. Mother sayth, tho' she cannot forbode an happie Marriage, she will provide for a merrie Wedding, and hathe growne more than commonlie tender to me, and given me some Trinkets, a Piece of fine Holland Cloth, and enoughe of green Sattin for a Gown, that will stand on End with its owne Richnesse. She hathe me constantlie with her in the Kitchen, Pastrie, and Store-room, telling me 'tis needfulle I shoulde improve in Housewiferie, seeing I shall soe soone have a Home of my owne.
But I think Mother knows not, and I am afeard to tell her, that Mr. Milton hath no House of his owne to carry me to, but onlie Lodgings, which have well suited his Bachelor State, but may not, 'tis likelie, beseeme a Lady to live in. He deems so himself, and sayeth we will look out for an hired House together, at our Leisure. Alle this he hath sayd to me in an Undertone, in Mother's Presence, she sewing at the Table and we sitting in the Window; and 'tis difficult to tell how much she hears, she for will aske no Questions, and make noe Comments, onlie compresses her Lips, which makes me think she knows.
The Children are in turbulent Spiritts; but Robin hath done nought
but mope and make Moan since he learnt he must soe soone lose me. A
Thought hath struck me,—Mr. Milton educates his Sister's Sons; two
Lads of about Robin's Age. What if he woulde consent to take my
Brother under his Charge? perhaps Father woulde be willing.